Terrified
by CrazyLove345
Summary: A weekend getaway for two best friends could change everything for them. With their friendship at risk and hanging by a string, what will they do to make sure that it's what is best for both of them? Lucian.
1. Change in Plans

**Another Lucian story! I've been thinking about writing another one and after this weekend, I decided that it was time. And good news…..depending on you guys's interest, I will make this a ten chapter story; nine regular blocks of the fanfic and then an epilogue. I hope you guys enjoy it because I have been brainstorming this for three days.**

**Inspiration for Terrified: On Friday, I was told that Ian was seen in Southwest Michigan and though I know now that he wasn't, that didn't stop theories from forming in my head. I knew that Lucy was going to be in Toronto for the MuchMusic awards and in order to get there, she'd have to pass through Detroit. Ian was 'supposedly seen' in a small town just outside of the city. In my mind, it made connections and tricked me into thinking that they were together. Now, you may say that I wasted my time because it just got my hopes for nothing, but hey, I'm an optimistic person! **

**Reviews will be very much appreciated. Please constructive criticism and no burning! **

**Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with Lucy or Ian. This is simply an innocent story about friendship, love, and honesty. **

* * *

**Terrified: Chapter 1**

**Change in Plans**

_You hold me without touch._

_You keep me without chains.  
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love_

_And not feel your rain._

_**~"Gravity" by Sara Bareilles **_

* * *

Lucy angrily slammed the door behind her as she clambered into Ian's Warner Brothers dressing room. He lifted his gaze from the script in his hands and his eyebrows creased as he stared up at his costar and close friend with a concerned expression on his tired face, "You okay over there, Goose?"

She shook her head, her hand going wildly up in the air as she managed to speak through her anger, "You know how I am supposed to present that award in Toronto on Sunday? Well, I thought that Chris could make the trip with me. I mean, his show got cancelled and he's not really up to anything besides his paintings and since I was given tickets for two, it'd be a good opportunity to just spend the weekend together away from LA, but **no. **He's too 'busy' and now I have to go all by myself to a different country."

Ian remained silent as she released her frustration. During the whole thing, he just sat there staring at her, his heart hammering against the cavity of his chest. Even when she was angry, she was still the most beautiful he'd ever seen. Her brunette hair was growing back into a dark waterfall that gently fell over her shoulders. Her pink lips were glossed and creased into a fury enraged frown, but it looked more like a pouting bottom lip making its way over the top one. She wore only the leftover make up from the day's shoot and was changed into a simple tank shirt and jeans. Her toenails were painted; sky blue with creamy yellow polka dots. Her hazel eyes gleamed in the soft fluorescent light.

When she was done, he took a deep breath and said with a calm voice, "Well, it's not like you're never going to see him again. You'll be gone for less than two days. Besides, I'm sure he has a good reason for ditching you and your plans for the weekend." He cracked a teasing smile, "Right now, you seem like someone _anyone _would want to spend time with alone for 36 hours."

She tried not to laugh, but was unsuccessful as she rolled her eyes and plopped beside him on the small couch, "Well thanks so much, pal. You really help a person out."

"Anytime, Goose." He chuckled along with her as he went back to reading his lines.

She just continued to gaze at him. Ian never failed to make her mood go from pissed off to incredibly calm and content. That was just the kind of personality that he had. He was sweet, smart, absolutely hilarious, stubborn and reliable. They'd been friends for more than two years and she loved him like a brother. She didn't know what she'd do without him. He was her best friend and the closest thing she had to a human angel; he looked like one too. His dark blue eyes smoldered indigo lava from underneath his blue Red Sox baseball hat, his messy dark brown hair in a wavy mess beneath it. His perfect angular jaw was covered in five o' clock shadow as he forgot to shave that morning since he'd been running late. He wore a dark green t-shirt and blue jeans even though it was eighty degrees in LA. He denied being a heartthrob, but she could see why hundreds of teenage girls were weak kneed over him. She sometimes even got dizzy over him after their lips separated once an Ezra and Aria scene was done. He was a very attractive man.

Suddenly an idea popped in her head, "You know, both halves of Ezria were given the weekend off. If you're not busy, you could always come with me." When her friend was ready to interject, she cut him off, "Ian, you haven't left California in months and I can see that you need a break from all of your Fitzy secrets." She winked at him and then nudged his shoulder.

He sighed, "I don't know, Goose. I need to rehearse to get ready for my scenes with Gregg next week and it's Father's Day and I'd really like to spend it with Sarah and my dad. I don't see him all too often. Plus, what will Chris think if I go off to another country with his girlfriend? I know how he gets, Lucy." The light in her eyes faded and he knew that he hit a sore spot with her. Though things seemed peachy and wonderful for the couple of almost five months, Ian knew her too well to not see that she wasn't as happy as she was with Alex Marshall last summer. She was incredibly unhappy; anyone and everyone could see it. Something inside of him broke when he saw his best friend's face draw into sadness and he reached out to rub her leg comfortingly, "I just don't want him getting mad at you."

"Don't worry about me and Chris. I told you that before." She snapped at him and then sighed, snuggling closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder. There was nothing romantic going on between them, no matter how many fans and cast members believed there was. That moment was just about two friends spending time together. Though even she had to admit that it felt _**really **_good to have him so close to her, "I'm sorry, Ian. Will you at least think about it for me? I really can't imagine going with anybody else right now."

He hesitated before murmuring, "I'll think about it." He didn't really have to think about it. Ian already knew his answer. Just the thought of having her all to himself for the weekend sent his heart on a high speed chase, his stomach clenching in a tightened fist. He knew what he wanted to happen with her.

Ian was so sure that he was in love with Lucy. She brought out the best in him and then even more. He loved her more than what words could express. And it hurt him to think that she didn't feel the same way about him. It hurt him so badly that ten gunshots to the chest would feel better than what he was putting himself through. His love for Lucy Hale was just a bunch of heartbreaks ready to happen. He couldn't love her. _**He shouldn't love her. But he did. Oh, he did oh so badly. **_

He ignored the voices inside his head screaming at him as he simply said in a hushed tone, his arm wrapping around her shoulder, "I'll come, Lucy. I'll go with you this weekend."The smile on her face was very much worth the throbbing ache in his heart. This weekend was going to change everything between them.

He knew that much already.

* * *

Lucy threw a bunch of blouses onto her bed with Annie and Claire looking on with narrowed eyes from the door way. The two blondes were a couple of her closest girlfriends, but right then she was just getting annoyed as they hammered her with questions:

"Does Chris know that you're taking Ian with you?"

"Will he even be okay with it? Please don't stir the pot. You know how he gets."

"Luce, we know Ian is like your best friend besides us and all of that good stuff, but doesn't the man have better things to do than to go with you to a different country for a whole damn weekend? You and him…you aren't…you would tell us that much wouldn't you?"

She rolled her eyes and faced them with a roll of her hazel eyes, "Girls, really? I need the company and you two didn't want to go. I'm sorry that I needed someone to go with and Ian just happened to be the one who said yes. I've told you before: he and I are only friends and we're not going to ever be anything more than that. I love him, but _**not **__**like **__**that**__."_

Annie raised one of her eyebrows at her roommate, "So, you've never noticed the way that Ian looks at you when you two are together? He practically drools over you, Lucy! He's head over heels for you. Are you too oblivious to notice that he is completely infatuated with you? Get your head out of your ass and listen to what we're saying."

Claire chipped in before Lucy could even skip a beat, "I like Ian. He's a great guy with a nice head of hair and a really adorable face to look at, but I'm not so sure that I would trust his or your judgment. I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt you, but being alone with you could trigger something."

Before she could say anything, the Los Angeles apartment door opened and a heavy voiced called out, "Lucy! It's just me!" It was Chris. She could tell by the way that Jack was barking. He didn't care for her boyfriend too much. He did like Ian though. He **loved **Ian.

Chris's head appeared in the doorway of her bedroom with a frown on his face, "Hey, babe. Can we talk for a sec?" He waved to Annie and Claire, "Hi, ladies. Mind if I talk to my girlfriend alone?" They nodded and went out to the living room. He closed the door and crossed his arms across his chest as he leaned against it, eyebrows creased, "So, who's going with you this weekend?" His dirty dish blond hair was a mess; she never knew if he washed it or not. It always looked greasy and it didn't help that he wore a beanie most of the time. His clothes were dirty and she knew that he'd been out late the night before with some of his guy friends and his agent whom she couldn't stand. He smelled like he just got done smoking and it wafted in the room as Lucy suppressed a cough.

She shrugged and folded an outfit into her suitcase, "Well, none of the girls wanted to go because they were too busy and you said you _**couldn't **_go-"

He shot back, his hoarse voice rising in an almost whine, "I told you why! I have to stay in the city and set up auditions. In case you've forgotten, I spend my days painting as an unemployed actor while you're on a hit TV show." When she flinched at the sound of his voice, he took a deep breath and shook his head, "It's not like I don't want to spend time with you, darling, but this is something I need to do." He stepped closer to her and gave her a kiss on the top of the head. She almost gagged at the smell of smoked tobacco on his plaid short-sleeved shirt as he wrapped her into a hug, "Who are you going with? At least tell me that much."

She sighed and pushed away from him as she went to the closet, "Ian is going with me." Silence was met with her response and she'd expected it; that was why she'd waited so long to tell him. After all, she left the following morning for the night that they would spend in Detroit.

"What?" Chris finally replied. Lucy turned back to him to see his eyes flaring, "Ian as in 'Ian Harding' that everyone thinks you're in a relationship with?"

"Chris-"

"Don't, Lucy! How did you think I was going to react to this? You couldn't find another freaking person to go with?" He plopped on the bed and knotted his fingers into his hair, "Everyone says that this guy loves you, Lucy. _**Everybody**__. _I get tweets and messages all the time about how 'Lucian lives'. Do you know how that makes me feel knowing that I could lose you to someone that your fans actually like better than me."

"What is with all of you today with thinking this? Ian isn't in love with me!" Lucy exclaimed, "Can't two people of opposite genders just be good friends? Ian and I have been through a lot together. Plus, he needs to get away just as much as I do. We work hard all week on set and a trip out east could be all for the better good. He's my best friend, Chris. Don't make it seem like he's any more than that to me."

He snorted and shook his head again, his eyes rolling, "I went to set those couple of times at the table readings. I saw the way that he was staring at you when he thought I wasn't looking. I didn't even have to say a word to him. He avoided me the entire time that I was there." He continued before Lucy could stop him, "Ian was _**jealous. **_He wants you for himself. Isn't making out with you all day on camera for the show enough for him? My god, it's like you're completely clueless to it." He took a deep breath, "I don't want you going with him."

Anger flared inside of her, "Since when can you tell me who I can and can't hang out with when you're not around?"

"Since I became your boyfriend back in the fall. It's my job. Now please promise me that you'll find someone else by tomorrow."

She thought about it for a minute and then turned her nose up at him as she stuffed the last of her belongings into her suitcase, "I'm not doing that. He's going with me and you're not going to stop him." She walked over to the bedroom door and opened it, "Leave. We'll talk later, I guess."

Chris bit his bottom lip as if he regretted what he said, but then after a moment pushed himself to his feet and hustled out of the bedroom and then out of the apartment, the door slamming behind him. Jack yelped at the noise and sprung into Annie's lap. Her friend looked over at her, "So, I take it that he doesn't approve of Ian going with you?"

She didn't reply and shut the bedroom door, leaning against it. She squeezed her eyes shut as a single tear fell gentle from her eyelashes. _Ian isn't in love with me. He just __**can't **__be. Why does everyone keep saying that when it's obviously not true? I love Ian like a brother and as a best friend. And he feels the same way about me. A relationship between us would just ruin that. He wouldn't want to throw that away now would he? _

Lucy quickly gathered all of her utilities for the next day into the corner so then they'd be ready to go in the morning and then plopped on her back on the bed, clutching her iPhone to her chest. A new text alerted her a vibrate as it was on silent and she glanced at the screen. It wasn't Chris calling to apologize for being an ass. It was Ian. Her heart quickened and her cheeks flushed red. What did he want? They'd be spending two days together alone and he wanted to talk to her more than he had to? She shook her head and took the call.

Ian's voice was chip and bright as he rushed out, "_Holy crap you actually answered my call for once. I was expecting to get voicemail. You hardly ever answer my calls anymore so this is a nice treat."_

She forced a greeting out of herself, "What do you need, Ian?"

Silence met her question and it took a few moments for him to respond, "_What's wrong, Goose? I know you too well to not detect that tone of sadness on your voice. So don't try and weasel out of my question."_

"I just got into an argument with Chris over something really stupid. I don't even know why I'm upset. Fighting is all we seem to be doing lately."

There was a deep sigh made by Ian on the other end of the call, _"Is this about me going with you this weekend? Luce, if you don't want me to go then I can easily cancel my plane ticket to Detroit-"_

She managed to laugh at this, "Yeah, well, Chris is going to have to deal with it. I can deal with him when I get back. Just you and me this weekend, okay? Shmian and Goose Take Detroit and Toronto."

He chuckled, a sweet sound that felt like music to her as it rumbled in her right eardrum, "_I bet the network would love to dedicate a whole reality show just to us._" He laughed again before sighing happily, "_So, the plans are still on_?"

She nodded even though she knew he couldn't see it, "Like I would ever cancel on you, Shmian." She glanced up at the wall as she stared at it, "The plans are still very much on. This weekend is going to be amazing. It's going to change a lot of things for us, but, hopefully, in the best ways possible."


	2. What Lies 13,000 Miles in the Sky

**The reviews for the last chapter of Terrified were amazing and overwhelming. 16 for one! Phew, you guys must love me. Now remember, this is only supposed to be 10 chapters long; 3000 words for each up until ten, which will be around 5000-7000. Somewhere around there. Plus, chapter 10 is going to be an epilogue which I am already planning out, so please be prepared for more to come. **

**Reviews will be very much appreciated. Please constructive criticism and no burning! Let's get Terrified up to 32! Come on you guys can do it!**

**Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with Lucy or Ian. This is simply an innocent story about friendship, love, and honesty. **

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**Terrified: Chapter 2  
**

**What Lies 13,000 Miles in the Sky**

_Maybe I should let you go,  
You know I'll fight my corner,  
And that tonight I'll call ya,  
After my blood is drowning in alcohol,  
No I just wanna hold ya._

_**~"Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran**_

* * *

Ian didn't know what was better, being alone with Lucy for the first time in months or being alone with her for the first time in months thirteen thousand miles in the sky. He loved the way that they were perfectly comfortable with one another to be alone together for an entire weekend. Their friendship meant the world to Ian and he didn't plan on screwing that up between them; even if they could possibly return to Los Angeles with everything in shambles. He was willing to take this huge leap into the unknown and risk everything just to make sure that he may have a chance to be with Lucy.

It was too early in the morning for him to start thinking such things; they boarded the plane at six thirty with only Starbucks' coffee in their empty bellies. Luckily, they were able to get such an early flight on a Friday morning. He was sure that someone would recognize them from the show and even though he loved his fans more than anything else, he didn't want any time wasted with Lucy. He had to use every spare moment to his advantage. He wasn't going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers.

Lucy had been quiet all morning. Obviously, her argument with Chris had shaken her to the core and when Ian had picked her up at her apartment, she hardly said a thing besides a mumble that he'd translated as a greeting. He knew that she wasn't happy with how she left things before the weekend, but Ian would soon have her forget it. Her relationship would be the last thing on her mind by the time that they were in Detroit. He was determined to make her happier than she was. He loved her too much to see her so miserable. Though he was miserable almost every day by seeing the woman he loved with someone else; it was like life was sucked out of him every time that he saw her with Chris. He would rather die a hundred times than seeing them together in a photo one more time.

He looked over at Lucy who was sleeping. He smiled as she snored softly, her breathing soft and effortless. He wondered what she was dreaming about; was she dreaming about him? About her relationship with a guy whom Ian didn't approve of by any means? Whatever was happening beneath her eyelids was obviously peaceful to her. He hadn't seen her this calm and childlike in five months. Now that he thought about it, she hadn't been carefree since she started seeing Chris. Ian couldn't help but wonder if she even wanted to be with the twenty seven year old actor. They didn't seem to have any chemistry or anything in common. Not as much as he and Lucy did; besides the fact that he was more of a private person and that she liked going out a lot, they shared almost all the same interests. That was why he needed to make her see that he was better for her.

Out of nowhere, Lucy leaned over and laid her head on Ian's shoulder, her soft lips pressed into his blue t-shirt, murmuring softly in her sleep. Her shoulder-length hair brushed against his upper arm, causing goose bumps to rise on the surface. He could feel her heartbeat against him and for some reason, it soothed him. It was like a mother's murmuring to her child's cry. He wished he could have frozen the moment right there. He took out his iPhone with a glance around to make sure that no flight attendants were nearby and unlocked the camera. He smiled slightly as he laid his head on top of hers and quickly snapped the photo. What he captured took his breath away. They looked like a couple by the way that they had posed. Not two best friends on a weekend trip.

_**A couple. **_

Suddenly, Lucy picked up her head, blinking the sleep out of her hazel eyes. Ian quickly slid his phone back into his backpack and then stretched as if to pretend he'd been asleep as well, "Hey there, Goose? Are you finally awake?" Her hair was a mess and she wasn't wearing any makeup, but honestly, she still easily took his breath away more and more every second he gazed at her.

She yawned as she nodded, "I think so." She looked out the window next to her, stretching out her cramped and petite shoulders before she turned back to her castmate beside her, "How long was I out for?"

He shrugged, "You closed your eyes as soon as we were in the air and by the position of the sun, I'm guessing that it is around ten o' clock. So, you've been asleep for three hours, more or less." He smirked as he nudged her affectionately, "I'm just glad that the snoring finally stopped. I'm sure all of the other passengers feel the same way."

Her eyes narrowed and she punched his shoulder, "You ass! I don't snore. I've told you that before!" The blow that she had bestowed on him didn't hurt; she was barely 5'2 and weighed less than a hundred and ten pounds, "Anyways, at least you don't have to look at your face when you wake up. It's like a nightmare followed me into real life."

"Wow, thanks, Luce. I should file a restraining order against you because of all the verbal abuse I have to take from you and Holly every day." Ian rolled his eyes and dug a book out of his carryon bag. _The China Study_ was one of his books on diets and long-term health. It had gotten him thinking the year before about his well being and that he should start taking better care of his body. Now, he was trying to put on some muscle in addition to eating being healthier. He was actually going to go work out with Shay Mitchell the following Saturday. It wasn't like he was obsessed with his looks or anything; he was just trying to stay healthy. Some of his fans took it as he having low confidence; maybe he did, but why not give it a boost by working out three times a week? He wanted to live a healthy lifestyle.

Lucy ducked her head to see the title of the novel and she rolled her eyes, her long eyelashes batting, "Ian, I swear, you're worse than most women when it comes to eating healthy."

He looked up and bit the inside of his cheek, his jaw tightening, "You're starting to sound a lot like my fans. I'm not 'obsessed'. I am purely trying to stay out of the way of being diagnosed with diabetes."

"Please. Ian, _I _have a higher chance of getting diabetes than you do." She took _The China Study_ from him and sat on it, "There. Now try to get this away from me."

"Tempting, but I'll pass, thank you." He glared at her, but ended up laughing at the funny face that she made in response, her cheeks puffed out like she was a chipmunk. He sighed and looked at her with unreadable dark blue eyes, smoldering a pool of indigo lava, "You're impossible to be made at, you know that right?"

"Well, a girl can only try!" She giggled, her cheeks flushing a light pink, "Now shut up as I try and boost your low self confidence." They shared a chuckle before she continued, "Shmian, you're a good looking guy with a great body and an amazing diet. You don't need to change for anybody." Her tone changed into a beautiful melody and his eyes widen as she began to sing a song that was unfamiliar to his ears; he could listen to her sing all day. No wonder she just got signed for a record deal, "_**You're insecure. Don't know what for. You're turning heads when you walk through the door.**_**" Her cheeks darkened as she lowered her voice, "**_**Baby, you light up my world like nobody else. The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed. And when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell that you don't you're beautiful. And that's what makes you beautiful.**__"_

An awkward silence set between them in the still air of the airplane. Lucy looked out the window in embarrassment of saying such things in a way as she just did, her head resting against the glass. Ian didn't know whether to be flattered or worried. What if she felt the same way as he did for her? He shook the thought out of his head. The way he felt for Lucy Hale was more like hate/love kind of thing. He hated to love her because it always ended up hurting only him. _Maybe moving on would be the wisest decision. Just treat this weekend as any other one: two best friends spending quality time together. _

Ian sighed and played with the band of the watch on his right wrist, his wavy dark hair falling over his forehead in a mess, _No. I'm not giving this opportunity up. If she does feel the same way and I push her away, I'll lose her. I don't want that to happen. I'm in too deep with her now. I __**have **__to make her see that there is a future for her with me if she wishes for it. _He glanced over at his best friend, watching as she gazed out the window beside her. The way that the early summer sunlight hit her face made an old familiar ache enter the cavity of his chest. He was so used it, it was only a numb feeling, _Where there is love, there is pain in the words of the old Spanish proverb and I'm willing to endure it until I have her fall in love with me._

_**No matter what the cost. **_

* * *

"Hey, Ian?" Lucy called out from behind the shower curtain of their hotel room in the small Novi hotel. They were going to stay at the four and a half starred Crowne Plaza just outside the huge city that was Detroit for ninety dollars for that one night, split between the two of them. They had gone to the Twelve Oaks Mall to pick up some souvenirs to take back to LA with them on Sunday night and returned by eight in the evening. After dinner in the hotel restaurant, they went immediately up to the hotel room. The time change had the both of them whooped and they were going to turn in early for their four hour drive to Toronto the following day.

She was just getting out of the shower when she realized that she'd left the folded up towels on the table next to the plasma screen television. She could hear it from outside the bathroom; from what it sounded like, Ian was watching _Girls, _which was his favorite show apart from _Glee_. He was laughing and she shook her head desperately at the way he was such an adult baby.

She stepped out from the tub, her brunette hair dripping drops of warm water down her bare tanned back as she reached over and grabbed her iPhone. She quickly texted Ian in desperation:

**Ian! I need you. Grab me a towel. I'm completely naked in the bathroom. **

She quickly sent it and soon she heard his familiar ringtone that he'd set for her number. She heard him chuckle and footsteps as he neared the bathroom, calling out, "Lucy, you call me a dork and then you do something like this." He turned the knob the door and cracked it open just enough for her head to poke through. His hand held the long white towel in his grasp and he stretched it out to her.

"Thanks, Shmian." She shot a smile at him and then her mind finally registered the fact that he was only wearing his khakis from earlier that day, sagging a bit to reveal his navy blue boxers. His shirt was nowhere to be seen, revealing his chest and stomach. Since he'd recently shot a robe scene for the show, not much of his curly black chest hair was present, but his subtle yet still noticeable abs were there. She didn't know why he wasn't confident in himself. She'd meant what she had said on the plane earlier; she truly thought that he was a good looking guy. Her cheeks flushed red as she continued to eye him.

Ian didn't notice like the typical male normally would. The only recognition he gave her was a nod in response and then he headed back to the bed, plopping down on his stomach, his arms entangling the pillow and hugging it to his body. She continued to stare at him for a couple of moments, his shoulders gleaming back at her in the faint fluorescent light. Finally, she divvied up enough will power to close the door and wrapped the towel around her wet body. She looked in the mirror as she gripped the marble sink counter, her petite shoulders sagged. She was blushing a deep tomato red and the more and more she looked at her reflection, the darker they got.

Lucy didn't exit the bathroom for ten minutes for two reasons: reason one being she had to get ready to settle down for the night and reason two being that she needed to regain some of her self control for when she went out to join her best friend and castmate. She didn't want him to think that she was obsessed with him by staring at him for far too long. Finally, when she regained some composure and finished getting ready, she cleaned up the mess she'd made and stepped out of the bathroom with the white towel draped over her shoulders.

Ian must have fallen asleep, his long and gangly legs hanging over the edge of the one king sized bed of the suite. His shoulders fell and rose in a smooth rhythm of tranquility, the smooth skin of his back tanned and dark in the dim lighting of the room. Her heart began to hammer as she went to the other side of the mattress, settling beneath the quilt. He stirred and looked up with drowsy blue eyes. He smiled sweetly, "Well, that was a nice cat nap?" He narrowed his gaze at her, "Turning in early?"

She nodded, "It would be easier to get settled if you would move your big ass feet." She giggled as he immediately swiveled around, turning down the volume of HBO as he settled in beside her underneath the bedspread. This wasn't weird for them; they'd stayed the night at one another's apartments before, even though they'd never slept in the same bed before.

He raised a wiry eyebrow at her, stretching out his shoulders with a large yawn, "Well, I guess this is goodnight." He leaned over to press a kiss to her forehead, lips lingering for a millisecond before he immediately sprung away, "Um, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Um, goodnight. See you in the morning, I guess."

She didn't say anything and just gave him a slight nod as she switched off the nightstand lamp, her head turning toward the window of the balcony of the hotel suite. She listened as Ian sighed and mumbled something unintelligible beneath his breath, directed at himself. She looked over her shoulder and watched him close his eyes, his body relaxing. He looked like a young teenager with his wavy hair falling over his forehead, his chest rising and falling as he sank into a light sleep. His right arm was behind his head as a neck support, revealing his ribs beneath the thin white sheet of the large bed.

Despite her conscious and better judgment, she turned over and snuggled closer to him, her head finding a place on his chest. He startled, his eyes shooting open. She pressed a finger to his lips, whispering, "Shhhh. Don't say anything. I just want to do something. Just stay just how you are." That was when she stretched up to press her lips to his.

She would have thought that after all the times they'd kissed for the show that this kiss wouldn't be any different. In some ways, it wasn't, but this time it was new. Ian kissed Lucy with urgency, his lips harsher than they usually were. His fingers fluttered at her neck as the embrace deepened, his tongue struggling to probe her mouth open to allow him entrance and to be able to explore it. Meanwhile, she kept her hands on his stomach, outlining the contour lines that were engraved in the skin of his lower torso. The kiss lasted for about forty five seconds longer than she'd intended it to be, but she didn't want it to end.

Finally they broke away, both breathless. They didn't say anything more as a heavy silence settled in the air conditioned room air. Lucy watched as Ian sighed with what seemed to be relief mixed with happiness and his blue eyes blinked heavily at her one last time before they shuttered sleep for the night. She smiled and snuggled closer to him, her hand finding his and she entangled their fingers in a mess of skin. At that moment, she didn't want it to end, but nothing could remain forever. She closed her eyes and settled closer to him, her breathing matching up to his.

Only before she was about to be fully asleep did she realize what she'd just done.

_Crap. _


	3. Can't Go Back but Refusing to Go Forward

**32 reviews have been received and if you follow me on Twitter, you know that I often announce when I'm going to write or not. And I promised a few eager readers (you know who you are) that I would update Terrified today or tomorrow. And after 32 reviews were submitted (Thank you, Becca!), I decided that it was time to pull out another chapter of Terrified. So thank you for all those who have reviewed. **

**I am going to try and finish this story up as soon as possible because it's already written itself in my head, so I'm hoping to update every few days. That gives all of you enough time to review and plus, If I Knew Then may be getting an update Saturday or Sunday, regardless of the fact that I've only received nine reviews for a 8000+ worded chapter (And yes, that was a reminder to review. I'm not one to hold off on updates if I don't get the number of written comments as I hoped I would. I write regardless)**

**Reviews will be very much appreciated. Please constructive criticism and no burning! Don't like, don't read, as I always say. Hopefully we can get up to 50 reviews for the story by the next update? Please with a shirtless Ian on top?**

**Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with Lucy or Ian. This is simply an innocent story about friendship, love, and honesty.**

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**Terrified: Chapter 3**

**Can't Go Back but Refusing to Go Forward**

_See now why  
All my dreams been broken  
I don't know where we're going  
Everything we said and all we done now  
Don't let go, I don't wanna walk away_

_**"Don't Walk Away" by Michael Jackson**_

* * *

_Was it a dream? _That was the first thought that popped into Ian's head the moment that he woke up the following morning. The last thing that he remembered from the night before was Lucy's hand entangled with his on the top of his naked stomach. He was wrapped up in the thick bedspread of the hotel room bed. He stretched out his arms and cracked the knotted up joints in his neck. He looked around with a small smile. However, when he turned to the space beside him, it laid empty and Lucy's small body absent from the sheets.

He sat up and swung his feet around, his feet brushing against the rough carpet of the floor. He ran his hand through his messy dark brown hair, his eyebrows creasing in puzzlement. Where could Lucy be? She couldn't have been gone long; the sheets were still warm where she once lied. He reached over to clasp his cell phone from the nightstand beside his side of the bed. He unlocked the touch screen and saw the time. It was only 8:30 on a Saturday morning. Where on earth could she have gone this early in the day? She wasn't exactly a morning person.

Finally, Ian looked outside to the balcony of the room, where a familiar shape was a faint silhouette in the bright morning sun of a promising Michigan summer day. He pushed himself to his feet and quietly slipped through the balcony door. Lucy was looking out to the horizon where the sun was just above the tree line of the Detroit suburb, her eyes shut as she relaxed against the railing. She was still in her pajamas, which was just a simple white spaghetti strap shirt and a pair of sky blue short shorts. He gave her a nod as he took a stance beside her, letting out a deep breath as he did so.

Silence sat between them as they just stared out to look at the small town of Novi. After living in LA for as long as he had, Ian thought that it was a breath of fresh air to be in such a quiet place. He looked over at Lucy out of the corner of his eye. She looked upset about something and thinking that things were different between them now, after their moment the night before, he took a step closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her to his torso. He kissed her neck, his lips trailing around the lobe of her ear. He whispered, his musky breath settling on the skin of her neck, "Good morning."

Lucy recoiled as if her dog Jack had snapped at her and pulled away from him, tearing out of his arms. She quickly turned to face him. Her hazel eyes were widened in surprise, anger, and regret as she asked, her voice shrill and high, "Ian, what in the hell do you think you're doing? Have you completely lost you mind?"

He realized at that moment that last night hadn't changed anything between them; if anything, it'd made it worse. At least he hadn't been the one to screw it up, besides the fact that he had kissed her forehead. He shook his head in confusion as he stuttered out, "I-I just thought that since we…last night…." He didn't have to finish his sentence. She knew what he meant.

She shook her head, "I have a boyfriend! Last night was a mistake and don't intend on it happening again." She muttered something to herself as she rushed back into the hotel room, Ian following close behind her, "Ever ever again. I didn't intend for you to get the wrong idea. I kissed you and it was bad on my judgment to do that. I'm sorry, Ian." She paused before continuing, "I'm sorry that I made you receive the impression that I have feelings for you above being friends. Let's just pretend that it never happened, alright? Then things won't have to be any awkward than they already are right now."

Ian's eyes widened and he fell silent, contemplating on what she just said, his eyes creasing as he took in her regretful words. _Is she actually saying this right now? Does she really believe that we can go back to what we were before the kiss? There is no way in __**hell **__that I am going to be able to move on. That kiss was the best that I have ever had in my life and I wouldn't take it back for anything in the world. If anything, I want to kiss her again. I would never stop kissing her if I had the choice. Her lips against mine are magical. When they touched mine, they made me more whole than I have been in a long time. How does she not feel what's __**finally **__happening between us? Why is she making herself so damn miserable? I know she doesn't love Chris the way that she making herself believe and I know that she loves me. She just won't __**accept **__it. And while she's trying to figure out her emotions, I'm sitting over here __**aching **__to be with her. She doesn't realize how much pain I'm in __**every damn day **__by loving her the way that I do. _

Finally, his moment of solitude was broken and he finally formed words. They slowly fell from his tongue as he stepped closer to her, eyes narrowing into thin indigo slits, "I don't wish that we could take it back and there is nothing that you could say or do that would make me. Lucy, I have been waiting this for two and a half years. I've been waiting and waiting and waiting to figure out how to explain the way that I feel without screwing up what _**amazing **_friendship that we have. But I'm tired of sitting back and enduring what I do every day." He hesitantly took her hands into his and held them to his bare chest, breathing in and out smoothly as he murmured, "Lucy, I'm in love with you. And even though you don't feel the same way about me, I just wanted you to know that." He swallowed before continuing, "Please don't ask me to regret that kiss last night because I don't and I don't want you to either. I can't pretend like it didn't happen because I've been waiting for it so long."

Before Lucy could say anything, Ian's mouth swooped up and against hers, pulling her closer to him. He expected her to pull away as soon as he touched her, but much to his surprised, she only cemented herself even more to his half-naked frame, her fingers twining into the waves of his dark brown hair. He felt her arms twine around his neck and he didn't hesitate to probe her lips open with his tongue. He was going to make the most of the moment that she was allowing him to have. He had just gained entrance when she finally pulled away, breathless from the unexpected embrace. She had tears in her eyes when she opened them, "Ian, please…"

He nodded in understanding, "I get it. I'm not going to make you choose between me and Chris. You're too important to me for me to choose to that to you." He looked away to burn a hole into the ground on which he was standing, "I don't expect to ever see you returning the feelings that I have for you. Just don't expect me to take anything that has happened between us on this trip back." Tears brimmed up in the blue lava of the orbs of his eyes and he wiped them away quickly before she could see them, "At least you know how I feel now." He turned away to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

"Ian?" A choked sob sounded behind him and he turned around before entering the bathroom. Lucy looked distraught and confused on what was happening and he didn't blame her. What he said must have been a surprise to her. After all, he had masked his feelings for so long and so well while he was around her, "Why didn't you tell all me all of this before now?"

He thought this for a moment, "The sad thing in life, something that I've learned, is that when you meet someone who means the world to you only to find out that it was never meant to happen and you just have to let go and I wasn't ready for that to happen between us. I didn't want to see what friendship we have between us to be ruined by me expressing how I feel. I love you and I'm not ashamed of it nor am I regretting it. Now do I wish I have told you sooner? Well, I ask myself that every day and I'll probably be asking myself that question for the rest of my life, but it's better late than never. I knew that you would find out eventually."

"Ian, I'm sorry. You must go through much every day. I wish I could say that I feel the same, but…." Her voice faltered, her sentence trailing off.

"It's okay, Lucy. I don't want you to feel like you have to say something that you don't mean." He shot her a flash of a sad smile, "I meant what I said and I don't want you to say that you love me back unless you _truly _mean it. Just think about it for a while if you really want to. If not, at least you know how I feel now." He exhaled a deep breath in a long draw-out sigh, "Now if you don't mind, I think I'll go take a shower." He proceeded his way to the hotel bathroom and shut the door firmly behind him, knowing that whatever lied ahead, he was prepared for it.

He was prepared for **_anything _**now. Nothing could tear him down.

**_Not even the impending answer that he was now waiting for. _**

* * *

Lucy looked at Ian, who was driving their rental car through the outskirts of Detroit, trying to avoid Saturday afternoon traffic. They hadn't spoken since what happened in the hotel room earlier that day. And, frankly, Lucy was happy that he wasn't pressuring her into anything that she didn't want to say or do. She was taking the silence to think about things very carefully, because what ever happened next for them was going to be all up to her and would forever lie on her shoulders if she chose to say three important words in response to her best friend's statement earlier. She hadn't been completely thrown off guard; though when the words _I'm in love with you _had fallen from his lips, she knew that the road ahead for their friendship was going to be one big caldron of awkwardness and hardship, no matter what Ian said.

She continued staring at him and for the most part, he seemed to ignore her eyes probing his face. That was when she noticed the smallest things about him. Though he was trying to ignore her and her presence beside him in the passenger seat, Lucy noticed that his cheeks were just the slightest bit flushed, a faint patch of a shade of rosy pink. His grip on the steering wheel of the rented dark blue Ford Fusion tightened as did his jaw. His whole body was tensed up. He was doing his best to disregard the elephant in the room, but was failing second by second.

Finally, Ian turned his head slightly so then he could look at Lucy out of the corner of his eye, "Do you need something? A potty break or a stop at McDonald's for a late lunch? I don't get why you keep staring at me." He glanced into the rearview mirror as they stopped at a stoplight, "Do I have some food in my teeth?" He didn't expect an answer and he didn't receive one. He just sighed and kept driving, his eyes switching back to the road in concentration.

_He's completely ignoring this. I don't see why. He's waiting for my answer. Unless he's purposely distracting himself so then it won't hurt as much…Does he really love me that much that he is going through this never ending agony of the possibility of me not feeling the same way? I don't even know how he could love someone so much to see them with someone else. He must really feel this way for me…._The revelation hit Lucy like a ton of bricks on a construction site. _For Ian to say that he's in love with me is one thing because those are just words, but to go through what he does every day proves it. __He **truly **loves me__. Oh my goodness. Ian Harding, my best friend and my safe place to land is _**_in love with me. _**_Now here was the tough question that I have to ask myself:_

_Do I feel the same way?_

Lucy knew that she loved Ian; as a brother, fellow castmate, and as her closest companion. However, she didn't know if she loved him as anything more than that, as in enough to be in a relationship. She thought about it for a couple of minutes, but came up empty. She could take Ian's advice and think about longer so then she wouldn't be lying to herself or to him. Though even she couldn't deny the high speed race that Ian made her heart turn into every time that they were together. The night before, when she'd kissed him, she didn't want to stop. She didn't want to stop then and then that morning, when he had kissed her in return to hers, it had taken all of her will power and better judgment to push him away. He made her question herself and her actions. He made her happy. He made her whole inside when they were together. When she was with him, she didn't think about anything else because she was all too overwhelmed with his presence. _Maybe I _**_am_**_ in love with him….._

Finally, after about two hours of her thinking about everything, they reached Toronto. Ian handed the border patrol station woman their passports after crossing the Detroit-Canada Bridge over a small part of Lake Huron in order to cross the national line. While she was checking out the passports, Ian sighed and turned to Lucy. He gave her a lopsided smile, "Hey. You've been awfully quiet all afternoon."

She shrugged, "Well, I've got a lot on my mind. What to say when I present this award and then what I say when I go back to Los Angeles. Ian, how do we go back to normal after this weekend? How do we go back and pretend that this didn't happen. I know you said that you don't to but do you realize how many explanations there would be for us to make if we go back and say that we're in a relationship? Both of us seem to have forgotten that I'm in one already. How do I explain this to Chris?"

He snorted, "I really don't give a flying shit about what he thinks. I'll explain everything to him with you if you want me to do that. I don't care what anyone thinks about this. Everyone already thinks we're dating. Why not prove it?"

Lucy sighed, "Ian, I've been in this relationship with him for five months and he was already reluctant to let me go on this trip with you. If he finds out what happened, he'll get really upset and I don't feel like dealing with him like that. You don't know how he is when he gets angry and jealous; it really doesn't take much for him to snap."

Her friend fell silent and the border patrol woman handed them their passports back to them with a cheerful, "Have a nice trip! Welcome to Canada." Their car was motioned forward and they were finally in Toronto, though it felt like they were a million miles apart from each other.

Ian finally spoke up, "I don't want him being mad at you. I don't want him to snap. So, you know what I'll do? I'll go back to LA and do what you want me to do. I'll pretend like nothing happened. I think I can do that, even if it's not my desire to do so. I don't regret it, but you obviously do and I bet my paycheck that you would take it back if you had the chance to." He swallowed hard, "So, to make it easier on you,consider everything that has happened between us in the past twenty hours forgotten."

Sorrow washed over Lucy as she watched him turn back to the road, his face pained, "Ian, I-"

His head snapped back to her, his dark blue eyes filled with unshed tears, "It's forgotten, Lucy!" He wiped his face with one of his trembling hands. He was in an emotional agony, "Don't make it any harder for me. Just don't mention it again because as far as we're both concerned," One single tear fell from his lashes and he wiped it away from his cheek with his elbow, "it never happened."

Lucy fell silent and she turned away from him, looking out the window, her own tears stinging the orbs of her light hazel eyes. There was nothing that she could do now except fessing up that she could feel the same way about him as he did for her. Even she couldn't deny it. However, there was no way she could say it now. Ian wasn't in the mood and silence again set in the cab of the Ford Fusion as they continued to travel on their path to their hotel in Toronto. They were also continuing to travel their path of the untold future of their friendship. Lucy regretted everything now.

_She regretted everything but the kiss and the words that Ian said and meant. Because she knew that no matter what her conscious told her that what her heart was telling her was the truth._

_**She loved him too.** _


	4. A Few Feet Apart with Entwined Hearts

**I would just like to say a huge thank you to all of who have read and reviewed Terrified so far. I didn't know that so many would like it so much, especially since I literally wrote it in my head after a two day period. I can't think you guys enough. 25 reviews for chapter 3 alone….just thank you so much!**

**If I Knew Then readers: Update to come sometime in the next couple of days. I know I am only updating it once a week, but I aim for 7000-8000 words for each chapter and it takes a long time to type up; usually between five and six hours. I will make sure to get it up soon and if you haven't already, please review chapter 12. I would appreciate it a whole lot!**

**Reviews will be very much appreciated. Please constructive criticism and no burning! Don't like, don't read, as I always say. Like I said before, thank you for all of the feedback on the last chapter. It broke Ezra and Aria: Double Infinity's record of receiving the most reviews on one single update. So, don't take a downfall and get any lower with it. The more, the better! Thank you again. Maybe 80 or more reviews by the next update? Pretty please? **

**Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with Lucy or Ian. This is simply an innocent story about friendship, love, and honesty.**

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**Terrified: Chapter 4 **

**A Few Feet Apart With Entwined Hearts**

_Time stands still  
Beauty in all she is  
I will be brave  
I will not let anything take away  
What's standing in front of me_

_**~"A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri **_

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The rest of the drive to the hotel that they would be staying in Toronto was set in silence between Ian and Lucy. No conversation was needed. They had both said all what they had needed to say. Now, he didn't know how to cope with the fact that she was expecting him to forget everything that had happened between them on the trip. Both his eyes and throat ached with a fiery string that resulted from holding back tears. He didn't want Lucy to see him cry, especially not now.

It was almost five o' clock when the Ford Fusion that they were driving pulled into the parking lot of the Travelodge Hotel which was near the airport where they would be heading right after the MuchMusic awards the following night. They had to be back in LA by Monday morning at eleven to begin filming. And as of right now, Ian wanted the weekend to be over as soon as possible. The sooner they got back to the city, the better because he didn't know if he could take being this close to Lucy for much longer. It was just too hard for him, especially now that she knew how he felt.

He gripped the steering wheel tightly as he pulled into a parking place near the door. _The friendship that we had before this weekend is no longer existent. We can't go back to LA and pretend that everything is all __**hunky dory **__between us. No matter how much Lucy wants to forget it, __**it**__**happened**__. And I don't want to make it seem like it didn't, even though I have no choice now. _He snuck a glance at the passenger sit where Lucy was sitting, her eyes closed as if she was sleeping. He knew her too well though; she was faking to avoid talking to him. He had to admit that she looked beautiful when she was sleeping, faking it or not; her dark auburn brunette hair fell over her California tan skinned face, her lips drawn in a pout. Her breathing was smooth, her petite chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

Ian remained staring at her for at least three minutes before he finally cut the engine and unstrapped the seat belt from around him. He reached over and gently shook Lucy's shoulders, "Goose, it's time to wake up. We're in Toronto." When she didn't pick up her head right away, he sighed and shook his head with a slight smile as he continued to gaze at her, "Goosey Lucy, you know you can stop faking it. I know you're not really asleep."

She grumbled and opened her hazel eyes, blinking at him with those almond grey depths, "What are you talking about? I was asleep." He rolled his eyes without saying anything more and opened the door on his side of the car. She called after him as she leaned over the cup holder that sat between the,, "Are you still mad at me?"

Ian shrugged as he pulled their duffel bags out of the trunk on the Fusion, slinging them over his shoulder, "What is there to be mad about? As far as we're both concerned, nothing has happened between us on this trip." The words burned his throat like a hot iron and he blinked up at the sky, tears stinging the depths of his dark blue eyes. What he'd just said had hurt him more than anything else that had ever come out of his mouth. And no matter how many times he struggled to swallow the pain away, it came back only with a more intense fire, scorching the inside of his throat with the high rising flames.

Lucy stepped out of the car, stretching out her cramped out joints as she went to fetch her bag from her castmate. Their hands brushed as he handed the handle of the suitcase to her and an immediate rush went through the both of them. Ian immediately pulled his hand away, his cheeks flushing red, the red patches radiant against the skin of his cheeks. What he had just felt was enough to send his heart upon a high speed race like the Kentucky derby and he looked at her with a tightened jaw. She gazed back with wide hazel eyes, "Ian…did you…?"

He shook his head in frustration, "We need to get inside. It looks like it is about to start down pouring with rain." It was true. The sky was dotted with heavy dark gray clouds, threatening a storm in the midst of the early evening. He turned away from her, jerking his head to the front door of the large hotel, "Come on. I don't feel like getting wet."

They more or less sprinted into the Travelodge Hotel as precipitation began to fall from the sky, splashing against the charcoal black pavement of the parking that was parallel to the creamy white sidewalk. Ian held the door open for Lucy with the hand that wasn't holding his suitcase that held his clothes for the weekend. She shot a small smile in his direction as if to relieve some of the thick tension between the two of them. He sighed and nodded, "Let's go get our room key and then we can talk okay?"

She didn't say anything else but by the way that she looked at him, he knew that she was looking forward to talking to him. His lips pulled up at the corners the tiniest bit in a grin and he continued to just gaze at her, taking in the full effect of her beautiful hazel eyes. He couldn't believe that everything had gotten so screwed up between them. He was prepared to take anything for her; as long that meant that she would be in his life. Because without her, he didn't know where he would be in the world. He couldn't imagine being anywhere without her and he wanted to tackle life with her at his side. The man was in love; head over heels for this woman that he was blessed enough to have in his life.

They remained like that for a couple of moments before the female clerk at the check in and checkout desk waved them over, "You two must be Ian and Lucy here for the MuchMusic Awards in Toronto this weekend. Come on, come on! I'll show you up to your room." The woman's voice had the tiniest bit of the stereotypical Canadian accent, almost identical to the ones that they heard in North Carolina, but at least she didn't say 'eh' at the end of each sentence, "It is such an honor to have to at our hotel! My daughters love _Pretty Little Liars _so much! Even I am hooked on it now."

The woman, or as her name referred to her as 'Danielle', led the two of them up to their room on the fifth floor of the building, talking the entire time about how much of an honor it was to have them staying at the hotel. They hadn't wanted to get two different rooms because then it would have gotten too expensive and at the time that they made the reservation, they had been perfectly comfortable being in the same room together without it being weird. Though those weren't the circumstances now, they weren't going to vouch for another suite.

So, they both chipped in one hundred dollars for one night in the King Suite, where there was only one bed, but it was there was enough room for the both of them to lie. Two recliners were set beside the window which looked out to the outskirts of Toronto. A mini fridge was between them, filled with snacks and goodies for them to indulge themselves with during the night. A 55' flat screen TV sat on the large dresser, with a notice that said that Netflix was available for them. They certainly were getting the most out of their hard earned money.

After Danielle finally shut up and left, Ian shut the door and turned to see Lucy plop on the large bed, kicking off her converse sneakers as she made herself comfortable, her tiny legs hanging off the edge, not even close to touching the carpet. She looked up at him and sighed, "Ian, please tell me that you're still not angry at me."

He shook his head in amusement as he slowly sank to a place beside her, their feet only inches from brushing skin against skin, "Why would I be mad at you, Lucy? I have no reason to be."

"Of course you do! I don't know how you're even talking to me right now after what you must go through each and every day. Especially after what I said to you this morning. I was so freaking horrible to you to expect you to just forget about what happened between us." She swallowed hard and a single tear from her eyes, slowly sliding her cheek, "I don't want to hurt you. Trust me, that is the last thing that I want to do. You're my best friend and seeing you in the agony that I did earlier today…"

"Lucy, look at me." Ian gently tipped her chin up with his long index finger so then he could lock his gaze with hers. The almond gray depths of her eyes were filled tears and a thorn pricked at his throat. This was the last thing that he'd wanted. He never intended to make her cry over what was happening between them. He kissed the top of her head, his lips lingering on the locks of her soft brunette hair as he drew circles on the small of her back as if he was trying to comfort her, "There is no reason for you to cry, alright? No reason at all. I don't want you to be worried about me. I'm fine."

He was lying through his teeth and Lucy knew it. She nestled her head into the crook of his neck, "I'm so sorry, Ian. I don't want you hurting because of me. I would never want to do that you. No one ever intends on inflicting emotional pain on someone they love…." She trailed off and immediately caught herself, "I mean-"

He pressed a finger to her lips, his thumb running over the smooth pink skin, "Shhhh. Don't say anything. I just want to do something. Just stay how you are." Ian smirked as he repeated her words from the previous night. He slowly leaned forward and soon his lips had brushed hers. The kiss was only a blink of an eye long and he pulled away within a moment reluctantly, not wanting to overwhelm her with anything that she didn't feel like doing.

He was ready to leave the kiss there, but Lucy had other plans. She leaned back into him, her mouth harsh against his. She dug her fingers into his flannel short-sleeve shirt, clinging closer to him as she lied the both of them down on the mattress. The kiss was different from all their other ones that they had filmed for _PLL; _Lucy's lips were against his in newly found desperation as if she were making the most out of the moment they had alone together. Her hands fluttered all over his body, from his thighs to his waist to his stomach to his hair and then finally her arms found a place to twine around his neck. He pressed her closer to him, his mouth gentle compared to hers.

One thing that Ian found about the embrace was that Lucy seemed to be the one encouraging it instead of him. _Once again,__** she **__was choosing to kiss__** him. **_Sparks flew between their heated bodies and soon he felt the need to take a breath. However, he didn't, for he didn't want the kiss to end. This was probably, hands down, the best moment that he ever had in his life. This girl-_**this woman**_-was his for the moment and he didn't want their few spare times to be together in such a way to end with him pushing her affections away. He thought was their lips continued to move in a completely natural and familiar yet new pattern, _As Thomas C. Halliburton once said, __**there is the kiss of welcome and of parting, the long, lingering, loving, present one; the stolen, or the mutual one; the kiss of love, of joy, and of sorrow; the seal of promise and receipt of fulfillment.**__ And I want to make sure that this stolen moment with her isn't taken for granted.  
_

After about three minutes of the two friends embracing one another in an unthinkable way, they separated from each other, their breathing heavy and labored. Ian opened heavy blue eyes to meet Lucy's hazel ones. Their gazes locked and their breathing was even with one another's as they stared at each other in amazement. They didn't say anything. There was no need to talk about what just happened.

_**The kiss had said enough. **_

* * *

Dirty dinner plates and silverware sat on the mini fridge as two people were settled in the large king sized bed, full from their dinner delivered by room service. Ian's arm was wrapped around Lucy's shoulders; not an embrace anything more than a gesture of affection. She had her head lying on his shoulder as they watched the movie based off her favorite novel by Nicholas Sparks, _The Notebook. _The film never failed to make her cry and her best friend who sat beside her held the box of white _Kleenex._

Ian seemed to know every word to the movie; after all, he hung out her enough to have watched it more times than a man would probably like. He leaned over every once in and a while and whispered in her ear a line or two, his breath leaving a heavy sting on her skin. She knew that he was a hopeless romantic from reading all of the books that he did, though she never would have pinned him as one who would willingly watch a chick flick, especially when his viewing partner couldn't control her emotions while they were watching it.

Lucy snuck a glance over at Ian, who was intent on watching the movie. He wore only a simple white t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. His right wrist was hidden with his leather banded watch. His eyes were hidden under the messy and loose waves of his dark brown hair. His biceps gripped the fabric of his shirt nicely and her heart began to race as her eyes continued to hungrily rake over his body. He was just a naturally beautiful person; inside and out.

He caught her staring and began to chuckle, a whole hearty sound deep in his chest and throat, "Can I help you, Ms. Hale?"

She snuggled closer to him, "I was just thinking. What are we going to do when we get back to LA? There is a crap of pile waiting for us back home, but I don't want to forget this now. There is no way in hell that I am going to let this go on pretending that it didn't happen. Because it did and _**I really enjoyed it**_**."**

Ian paused the movie as he took a deep breath and looked at her with wide blue eyes, "I really enjoyed it too. And you know what? Let's not ruin tonight with a bunch of questions. We'll figure it out when we get back to California. It'll be messy but as long as we have one another, there isn't anything more that we can ask for. I'll be at your side the entire time and you'll be at mine. If anyone can do it, we can." He chuckled as he murmured the opening lines of _The Notebook_, "_**I am no one special. Just a common man with common thoughts. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I've loved another with all my heart and soul and for me that has always been enough.**_"

Lucy leaned up against him and whispered in a long sigh against his lips, "I wonder what movie you got that from. Could it be the one that we are watching right now?" They both cracked a grin as they shared a small kiss before Ian unpaused the movie and they continued to watch it.

It drew near eleven o' clock as _The Notebook _rolled on and when it drew near the end, Ian held Lucy close as she wiped a few tears from her eyes. He whispered into her ear, "_**Old love is good as new love as long as the two people love each other. Growing old with the one you love…there just isn't anything better."**_

Lucy looked into his eyes and ran his hand down the stubby skin of his cheek, "That's what I want, Ian. To grow old with the one I love." She thought about what she was going to say next because she knew that there was no going back after the three words fell from her mouth, but she meant each one with new and heartfelt meaning as she said softly, "_I love you__**.**_"

His eyes widened in surprise and he looked at her with his mouth partly agape, "Lucy….I…You're not just saying that because I said it right? Because I don't care if you are or not. I'm just happy to hear you say it. That's all I've ever wanted to hear you say." Tears welted up in his eyes as he kissed her forehead and murmured against the smooth skin, _"__**I love you, too. I love you more than I can ever put into words.**_"

"I mean it, Ian. I love you. It just took me so much time to realize it." Lucy smiled at him, a joyful tear falling from her lashes, "And I want you at my side when I tell Chris. It's always been you but I feel like a blindfold was covering my eyes to the things that were right in front of me."

"Lucy, I-"

She silenced him a kiss, "Shhhh, no more words. Let's just be here and enjoy the time that we have let alone together. You and me. _**Just you and me, Shmian and Goose." **_


	5. What is but What Never Will Be

**87. 87 reviews have been received on this story so far. Can I just say that I never expected this kind of response from so many people, especially since it was a **_**failed **_**theory that popped into my head a month ago? I'm just amazed. Truly and honestly amazed. **

**So, if any of you read my Ezria fanfic, you already know this, but if you don't, here's the message: I won't be able to update either of my fanfics for the next couple of weeks. I have a packed busy end of July. However, updates will be headed all your ways in the first week of August. While I'm away, I'll make sure to get as much writing as possible done. That is my promise to all of you very loyal readers.**

**Reviews will be very much appreciated. Please constructive criticism and no burning! Don't like, don't read, as I always say.****As stated before, the reviews have overwhelmed me in the best ways possible. All of you who have been reading this Lucian story are amazingly supportive. **

**I'd like to say a big thanks to my fellow writer, Lucian shipper, and friend, Becca (prettylittlesoprano) in particular for 1) Getting me to write this thing out and staying persistent with reminding me to update and 2) For always suggesting ideas to make my Lucian writing more accurate. She's the most hardcore and loyal Lucian shipper I know. Thanks, little ginger! **

**Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with Lucy or Ian. This is simply an innocent story about friendship, love, and honesty. **

* * *

**Terrified: Chapter 5 **

**What is but What Never Will Be**

_She's always on my mind, there's no room left for thinking  
I'm tired of waiting slowly fading it needs to happen now.  
'Cause I'm running out of time and I feel this ship is sinking  
The doors are closing, I am frozen_

_I need her around _

_**~"I Can't Keep on Loving You (From a Distance) by Elliot Yamin**_

* * *

Sunday came and went like a breeze on a hot summer day. Ian had avoided the hustle and bustle of the awards by staying in their hotel room and just watched the event on TV, trying to keep it on the down low that he was in Toronto with Lucy, as no one knew but them what had happened during that wonderful weekend they'd spent together. She had gone to meet up with her friend, Danny, and presented with such a poise and beauty, it took his breath away. It wasn't that long of a presentation, but it was enough to make his heart flutter and turn his cheeks into pink patched skin.

As soon as the awards wrapped up, Ian grabbed their suitcases, checked out of the hotel and went to go pick Lucy up on the red carpet. He wore sunglasses and a baseball hat, not wanting to reveal his identify quite yet, especially since ninety nine percent of the population of the world didn't know that he was the one who'd accompanied her on the trip. He wasn't ashamed of it, but he didn't want anyone to know about their relationship until they got back to LA.

They boarded the plane at exactly eleven ten and it took off just after eleven twenty. Shooting for the next episode began at eight the following morning and they had to be back since they were one of the firsts up. Both Ian and Lucy were exhausted from jet lag, traveling, and what things had happened between them during those short two days. The kisses shared, the words said, and the tears shed were going to make a mess out of things when they returned home, but they were willing to endure it together, side by side, **Shmian and Goose. **

Ian glanced over at his best friend and smiled, giving her hand that he was holding a gentle and affectionate squeeze, looking at her with soft loving blue eyes that smoldered with passion, "You did amazing presenting that award tonight. I couldn't have done it in front of all of those people." He chuckled and leaned over to give her forehead a kiss, but she shied away, pulling her hand from his and folded it with her own on her lap. He sighed and shook his head, his eyebrows creasing in frustration, "Lucy, I thought we were past this. I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss you. I want all of you for the rest of forever." His jaw clenched and locked his gaze with hers, "We talked about it just twenty-four hours ago about how we were going to go back to LA and face whatever we do, together."

What she said next made Ian question everything that she'd said to him just the night before, "It's easier said than done, Ian. I don't know what I was thinking when I said that I'm ready for this. You and I went on this trip together as friends and now we're planning to go back, holding hands and telling people that we're now a couple." She let out a deep breath and wiped a falling tear from her eyelid, "I don't know what is going inside my head right now. It's just a twirling and swirling mess."

He snorted and rolled his eyes, "Can you hear what you're saying right now? Luce, to be quite honest, I'm more than tired of you toying me around like I'm some sort of plaything for a cat. Yesterday, you told me that you loved me and today you're regretting it _**again**_. Would you please make up your damn mind? You're just making it harder on the both of us by leaving questions between us unanswered and feelings not dealt with." When she flinched away from him, he sighed and shook his head, "I'm sorry, Lucy. I didn't mean to snap, but I'm just _**frustrated.**_" He took a slow, deep breath before continuing, "I have to ask you something. It's a question that I've been meaning to ask since you started seeing…._**him**_." He swallowed. Chris's name made his mouth burn and like peroxide on an open wound, "Where is this relationship going to take you? Do you actually picture yourself in five years with this guy?"

Before she could answer his two prompting questions, he saw it in her eyes that he already knew the answer and he cut her off just as she opened her mouth, "You know where I picture myself in _**seventy**_ years? I picture myself with you, sitting on a front porch in Tennessee, with sweet tea and love between us, all of our children gone and married with their own offspring. I can picture us getting married, starting a family and growing old together. I picture us _**together**_."

Lucy didn't comment for a couple of minutes and when she did, her voice was forced and strained, "I'm glad you feel that strongly for me, Ian, but as for your question, I don't know where Chris and I will end up." She glanced out the window, staring at the moon which made her almond grey hazel eyes twinkle, "I know we seem like the perfect couple, but I don't feel hardly anything for him more than what I used to feel for you." Ian's eyebrows rose at the sound of the words **used to**as his friend continued, "Our agents just sort of pushed us together and a relationship blossomed from it. Well, that rose is gone, leaving just a bush of thorns in its wake. I want to make it last between us, but then again I don't. I don't know how to end it. And this, what happened with us during the weekend, is not the way."

He nodded in understanding, "I get that, I suppose." He looked away and then his gaze found their way back to her again, as if by gravity, a small smile pulling on the corners of his lip as he noticed that her eyes on him again, "I don't know how to go back to LA and see you with him again. It was hard enough before, but now, it's going to be even more difficult after everything that has happened between us." He rubbed his eyes with his fingers, the weekend finally beginning to settle in to his tired body and mind, "The hardest kind of heartbreak is when someone loves another person with everyone they have and that person is with someone else, but they want to see them happy, so they allow themselves to wait for the day when that person, the one whom they would give anything for, to love them back." He released a deep breath, "I think it's pretty obvious that you're not ready for that yet. So, I'm going to wait for you; as long as it takes, I am going to wait for you to accept this for what it is, something innocent and beautiful." He sighed and blinked up at the fluorescent lights, "_**Even if it takes the rest of forever**_."

She reached over and ran her hand across his freshly shaven cheek before pressing her lips to it lightly. Ian didn't know what to think anymore. His mind was the same as Lucy's; swirling and twirling with confusion, not knowing what to think anymore. He knew that he loved her more than anything else in the word and that he willing to wait for her. However, he also knew that there was a great chance that she was going to try and forget everything that had happened in those few days in which they'd spent together. _Will I be able to handle the fact that I finally fessed about my feelings for her and that she was going back home to another guy who isn't me? _He sighed and reached out to take her hand again.

Surprisingly, Lucy didn't pull away from him; she actually drew nearer, laying her head on his shoulder, entangling their fingers together in a mess of skin. She looked up at him with unshed tears shining in her hazel gaze, "Ian, I want this to happen between us so badly, I am two seconds away from pulling out my cell phone and texting Chris that we need to talk, but I have to think about what is going to happen when he, my friends and the cast finds out about this, about _**us**_."

He shrugged and kissed the top of her head, "We can always face all of that together. I don't want either us to go through the aftermath alone. It'll be messy and we'll get ridiculed for this happening when we were supposed to remain neutral friends on the entire trip, not coming back holding hands, acting like a couple. I don't care what people think." He moved his face closer to hers so then their lips were only a few centimeters apart, his breath stinging her skin. He could smell the strawberry-watermelon lip gloss wafting from her soft pink lips, "I'll be by your side when you tell _**him**_, whether that be tonight when he picks you up at the airport or in another week. Whenever you feel the time is right, I'll be right there, holding your hand."

She sighed and looked dreamily up at him, "You're absolutely amazing, you know that right?"

Ian cracked a smile and nodded with another shrug of his lanky shoulders, "Well, I've been told a couple of different times. My mom always knows how to boost my ego." They both laughed at moment and for a moment, he forgot what lied ahead for the two of them if they were to truly to go from being friends to boyfriend and girlfriend in just two days of a weekend trip. He actually forgot everything that had previously been his mind as their lips met.

Every kiss they'd shared on that weekend was different and this one followed the same pattern as all the others did. It wasn't rushed or slow. It wasn't harsh or gentle. It wasn't that big or small. It wasn't anything but two people in love sharing one simple embrace, skin brushing skin. It wasn't much more than a couple of seconds, but it was enough to clarify what they just discussed. Ian was for sure now that they were going back to LA, and telling people that they were together. He smiled against Lucy's mouth as the realization hit him at last, finally realizing that all of those times where he'd seen the love of his young life with someone who wasn't him. All of those times when he'd gone to sleep with an empty bottle of whiskey in his hands. All of those times when he'd have to endure another day without being able to call her his own. It was finally showing that it'd been worth it all along.

_His heart was finally feeling as though it was normal, not torn and broken as it had been just days before._

_**His heart was whole again. **_

* * *

The rest of the flight from Toronto to LA was spent in silence, as no words were needed between Lucy and Ian. Though she wished things could be different and that she wouldn't have to end one relationship to begin another, but her best friend had struck a chord when he asked her where her relationship with Chris was going to lead her in the near or distant future. He was a good and caring guy, most of the time, but sometimes, he just seemed to be so…Lucy didn't even know how to explain his behavior. _Unpredictable would be the best adjective._

Now she was returning back home with Ian's hand in her own while they claimed that it was what was best for the both of them. He was willing to wait as long as it took for her to finally come and realize how much she actually cared for him. She loved Ian more than she could express. However, she couldn't stop thinking about the looming future which would soon fall on her petite shoulders. She didn't know how anyone would react; probably pretty well, but she wouldn't put it past her friends to rub it in her face that they were right all along about Ian's feelings for her.

She looked over at him and to no avail, he was staring back with a small smile. He looked happy for the first time in months. He looked as though nothing could harm him now. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his mouth, murmuring against his pursed and gentle lips, "I love you."

"Mmm. I love you, too." He whispered as they pulled away from each other.

_**A crackling noise came over their heads through the speakers of the plane and the captain's voice sounded, "Hello, this is your pilot speaking. I am pleased to announce that we are five minutes from landing at LAX International Airport. Thank you for flying with Deltaair and enjoy the rest of your flight." **_

Lucy took a deep breath and glanced out the window again. Below her, she could see the city which she called her home. In five minutes, she would be facing a whole new pile of trouble. Her boyfriend of almost five months was waiting to greet her somewhere in that building, not expecting was about to come unto him. She hated having to choose between these two men and she hated that she was letting herself completely go back on what she said about playing games with someone else's heart. She didn't like contradicting herself by any means.

She also had to remember that Chris wasn't the only one relying on her return. Ian was waiting for the go to tell her boyfriend what happened between them during their trip to Detroit and Toronto. He seemed so happy and amazed on how she was actually going along with it and to ruin Ian's happiness was like taking a new toy away from a puppy with its eyes gleaming with such a heartbreaking sadness….She didn't want to break his heart _**again. **_

The plane landed at exactly 11:30, Pacific Coast time, and all of the passengers unloaded from the powerful machine within a couple of minutes. Lucy and Ian walked together to the opening of the gate that led into the airport and there Chris was, waiting upon her return. He looked to have showered and washed his hair. His shaggy dark blonde hair fell over his forehead in its usual mess. He wore a simple t-shirt and jeans with a smile bright on his face. Lucy didn't think that she'd ever seen him so happy to anyone before.

Lucy charged away from her best friend beside her and right into her boyfriend's awaiting arms, finding them to twine around her waist almost immediately. He was truly and genuinely happy to see her as he hugged her tightly to his body. He still smelled like burnt tobacco, as he always did, but at least he worked hard to look presentable in public, "Hey there, baby. I'm happy to have you home." He placed her on the ground and switched his attention to Ian, who was staring at them with a clenched jaw, his fists almost white, "Hello, Ian."

Ian snapped out of his obvious anger and envy and nodded respectively to him, "Hi there." He looked over at Lucy and raised his eyebrows as if to say _Are we going to tell him now?_

Lucy glanced up at Chris to see him grinning happily at her as he said, "I'm so happy to have you home. I'm sorry for what happened before you left. I hated what I said as soon as I said it, but you know me…." He looked at Ian again, "So how was the trip? Did you two have fun?"

His new rival shrugged and nodded, his jaw tightening again, "You could say that. Actually, we had a lot of fun. Maybe we should tell you some about it. What do you say Lucy?"

Her mouth dropped and she stared at him. _What happened to him waiting to say something? Is he completely insane?_ She swallowed hard, "Well, the hotels we got were pretty damn sick, both in Novi and Toronto. I got you, Claire, and Annie a couple of things from the souvenir shop from the mall in Novi. Have you ever been there? It's so quiet and beautiful, even though Ian and I didn't really see much of it."

Chris shook his head, "Well, I guess I'll put it on my never-ending bucket list on the places I want to see."

Lucy laughed and then glanced at Ian again. His own mouth was agape, but it was his eyes that really made her feel horrible about not telling the truth. The pain and agony, which she'd seen on Saturday after she first rejected him, were both starting to take over the cool blue oceans of lava in his gaze. He looked away, trying to look tough and shake it off like a man, but was failing miserably, "I have to go get my suitcases. I guess I'll see you later, Lucy." He paid no exit salutation to Chris to any surprise and started to trudge away, his free hand deep in the pocket of his jeans.

Chris looked after him with narrowed eyes, "What's his problem?"

"I don't know." Lucy lied, knowing exactly what was causing Ian so much pain and anger, "I think I'll go talk to him. I have to get my suitcases, too." Her boyfriend looked extremely reluctant to oblige with allowing her to leave so quickly and she rubbed his arm, "Please, Chris? I just want to know what's wrong. He is my best friend. You would do the same for Thomas, wouldn't you?" Before he could answer, she bounded after Ian as soon as they were out of sight, calling out his name, "Hey, Ian! Wait up."

He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around to face her, his eyes filled with agony and fury battling in the depths, "Why are you even talking to me right now? You obviously just showed me what you really want!" His tone was hushed, but it had sharpness in it to cause a thousand swords to slash her, "I knew that this would happen when we got back. After all that happened…" He shook his head, "Why do I even bother anymore? It's obvious that you're too afraid to love me back because of what _**Chris**_ will think!" His voice dropped even lower, every word filled with pain as he uttered out, "I'm done, I'm just done."

Tears sprung up in her eyes as she grabbed onto his arm and he shook her off as though he was burned by her touch, "What do you mean you're done? Ian, please try and understand-"

"I have been nothing but understanding, Lucy. I'm sorry. I tried everything I could to make you see that your feelings for me are legitimate and willing to fight for but obviously it wasn't enough." He swallowed hard, "Just as you wanted yesterday morning, nothing happened between us on this trip." He pulled away and she could barely hear him as he stuttered out, "Nothing at all."

"Ian-" Lucy cried out, but he left her standing there, wiping his face with his hands as he headed toward the luggage claim. He wasn't in the mood to talk and neither was she. They both needed time to think this through. She know she loved him and that he loved her, but how could they explain it after only two days alone together? One thing was for certain though and she didn't want it to be true. Neither of them wanted it to be.

_**Their friendship would never be the same again.**_


	6. The Fallout of Temporary Bliss

**I'm back! Hey everybody. I hope you're ready for a whole new chapter of Terrified. I know on Twitter, you guys have been reminding me to update and since I finally have the time to update my two stories and then begin a whole new one, I'm taking advantage of it while I have it because I don't know when I'll have it again. **

**Reviews will be very much appreciated. Please constructive criticism and no burning! Don't like, don't read, as I always say. The fact that this story that popped into my head from a **_**failed **_**theory almost two months ago has drawn in so many reviews and so much interest, it is truly amazing. Two away from one hundred and there are only five chapters written. Just…..WOW. So please continue to review and give me all the feedback your hearts desire!**

**Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with Lucy or Ian. This is simply an innocent story about friendship, love, and honesty.**

* * *

**Terrified: Chapter 6 **

**The Fallout of Temporary Bliss**

_Empty room, I'm empty too  
Everything reminds me of you  
So many things I shouldn't have missed  
The more that I push and the more you resist  
It's easy to see it's for the best_  
_When you want more while you leave me with less_

_**~"Fallout" by Marianas Trench**_

* * *

June swiftly fell into July. Things soon went back to normal. Or as normal as they could be after what happened during that one weekend in June. The fallout of Ian and Lucy's temporary bliss stuck him like a rusty knife. He spent his time from work with a glass of scotch in his hands, laying across his living room couch, trying to forget about it. His love for Lucy Hale was being wasted away day by day as he waited for her to come back running into his arms while he could be in love with someone else who returned the same _open _feelings as he did. He couldn't stand by and watch her go after every guy **but **him. He couldn't, he shouldn't. Was he going to?

**Oh hell yes he was. **

He remained distant from her, apart from when they were filming and that was hard enough; to kiss her and to hold her like nothing had happened and they were just good friends and great castmates when in reality their friendship was broken, just as he had feared it would be if he told her how he truly felt. When he was around her, he had to put up with the masquerade like his heart had never been ripped out, stepped and trampled on, and then a dancing leprechaun with its newly sharpened cleats pierced it like a knife to a tablespoon of butter.

He heard around set that she and Chris were trying to make it work with their relationship and he hated himself for wishing that it wouldn't survive any longer. He didn't want _him _to be making Lucy miserable by being in a relationship that she didn't want to be in anymore. She obviously didn't know how to end it, or else she and Ian would be together by now. They would have gone back to LA from their weekend getaway, and told Chris the truth. Ian didn't know how she kept up the charade because honestly, he wished that he could do the same with his feelings for her so then she wouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing what being away from her was doing to him.

If she had allowed him, Ian could've been the one who kissed her, who held her hand, who laughed at everything she said. He could've been the one to love her the way a real man should love a beautiful woman. He could've been the one to marry her, to father her children, to grow old together on a porch while drinking sweet tea. He could've been all of those things, but Lucy was too scared of what other people thought of them being together. Now he sat in his apartment, getting drunk from the absence of her presence in his life while she went on with her life with _**him **_as if nothing had happened. Everything in his body told him to quit her as if she were a drug and move on with his life, finding a new beginning and starting over. Too bad that his job was to makeout with the love of his life for a **living**.

One cloudy Tuesday, after filming for episode eleven for the third season, Ian, Holly, Keegan, and Shay all went out for a bite to eat for a late lunch/early dinner at a restaurant right off of the Warner Bros. lot. Ian hadn't wanted to, but his three closest friends wanted him to tag along and what else was he going to do? Go home and drink away his sorrows with a bottle of _**very **_strong scotch? It wasn't too busy and only a few fans went up to the four of them for autographs and photos, which all of them gladly complied to.

Once they got all settled at their table at the back of the small diner and their food was ordered, Shay turned to Ian with a concerned brown gaze, her face soft, "Ian, we dragged you here to talk to you about what is going on between you and Lucy. It's obvious that something has happened while you two were away in Toronto. Something that has upset the both of you. You two don't hang out anymore and hardly even look at one another. We're all worried. I tried to talk to Lucy about it, but she refused, saying that it was none of my business and if I really wanted to know to ask you, so that's why I have backup this time." She gestured to Keegan and Holly.

Keegan picked up where Shay left off, his icy blue eyes warm and worried for his closest guy friend, "Ian, buddy, before the trip, you two were all over one another, on and off camera. There was not one day that I can remember when I didn't see the both of you hanging out and laughing. Now, there is so much tension between you and Goose that _**everyone **_on set is confused. Even the janitor is wondering what is going on between the two best friends that everyone calls Shmian and Goose. What's going on, man?"

Ian sighed. His castmates were obviously just trying to help, but it felt like swords going into every inch of his body. He squirmed uncomfortably underneath the three pairs of eyes watching his every move, "Well, you know how everyone always teases me and Lucy about how in love we are? Or how I always seem like a lost puppy when it comes to her?" He blinked and looked away, "On the trip to Toronto, when we were entirely alone with no one to interrupt the fun and wonderful times we always have-_had-_together, we kissed that Friday night. And when I say that, I don't mean what we do for the show. I mean, it was passionate and beautiful and really hard to stop."

Shay and Keegan's mouths dropped agape in shock, but Holly, a wise woman who often teased him for his lack of experience in the Hollywood world and his lame comebacks, remained completely composed apart from the slight raise to her eyebrows, "So, now things are awkward because of that? Kid, _**you makeout with the girl for a living**_. One kiss on a weekend vacation away from home shouldn't make such a big difference in your guys's friendship when you kiss her and get paid for it every damn day of the week."

"Holly, it just wasn't one kiss. Between Friday and Sunday, we kissed at least five times." He looked away again, playing a straw wrapper on the table as he continued, "I'm in love with Lucy. Not puppy love, _**real love**_. I told her how I felt and she admitted that maybe she felt the same, but wasn't ready to start a new relationship while she was still in one with Zylka." His former best friend's boyfriend's last name burned the inside of his throat like gasoline to an open flame, making it hard for him to swallow, "I had been waiting to tell her for two years, but I didn't want to ruin the friendship that we had. Well, as you can see that it didn't turn out as positively as I thought it would. We were going to come back to LA and be together, but at the last minute, she changed her mind. So, over a month later and here we are, talking about it."

Shay shook her head in confusion, "So, you love Lucy? Like as more than a friend? I know we tease you two all the time about dating and all of that good stuff, but for real? I don't know how to wrap my head around this. I mean I was expecting something like this, but now hearing it, I just don't….I just don't know how…." She looked helplessly over at Keegan who was seated beside her, "Keegs? What do you think of all of this?"

He shrugged, "I can't say I'm surprised, Ian. I've seen the way that you look at Lucy. Your love for her is as strong as Starbuck's coffee in the morning." They all shared a nervous laugh and he ran his hand through his auburn brown gelled hair, "I really don't know what you want me to say about all of this. It's a lot to take in all in one sitting over a plate of cheese fries and a couple of beers on a Tuesday night."

When Holly spoke, Ian was expecting persecution of falling for a woman who was taken and then making her feel like she had to make a choice, but what she said was actually more than the sarcasm that she usually spoke to him in, "I heard this quote by one of the directors on _Charmed_ way back when I was still Piper. I am pretty sure it went_, i__t is impossible to fall out of love. Love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you it does not depart. True love is __**eternal**__. If you think that you were once in love, but fell out of it, then it wasn't love you were in. There are no 'exit' signs in love; there is only an 'on' ramp._" She blinked warmly at her friend and castmate, and patted his should comfortingly, "Ian, sweetheart, I've known both you and Lucy long enough to tell you that you're out of your damn minds falling for one another when we need you two to have your acts together for the show, but I can tell your love with Lucy is like one that I've never seen and I've been married enough times and have dated enough men to know that this kind of love doesn't come as often as some would like. Go after her. Don't let anything or anyone stop you."

* * *

For the first time in weeks, Lucy actually had the apartment to herself. Claire was off with Annie shopping at the mall and Chris was on set for the _American Horror Story_, a part he had gotten just a couple of weeks before, and she'd hardly seen him since she got back from Toronto. So, they saw one another in passing, but never really spent any time together like they did back before the whole new part for him.

Now she was just lying across her bed, pondering whether to end things with him or not. He was cute, funny and sweet, but something about him just said: _no. _She wanted to end things, but she didn't know how to without having to explain why since he thought that everything was going so great between them when, really, she was miserable and wanted to find a way out.

Her thoughts flew to Ian as they always seemed to when she alone and away from people. Their friendship was broken, mangled and stepped on, all because of that disastrous trip to Toronto. She remembered the way that Ian had walked away that day at that airport when they'd returned. He hadn't even looked back at her. He walked away from her that day because she had broken his heart too many times for his comfort. If it hurt her even thinking about the pain that he must be going through, imagine what Ian must have been feeling. She didn't want to try and comprehend what he was going through; every time she did, it burned her like a firework in dry moorland.

When they weren't filming scenes together, they completely avoided each other on set. Their scenes were just the same as they always were before the whole mess of misunderstood feelings her: passionate and loving but with a new twist. Ian kissed her with harsh and tart lips, as if it hurt him to even be in the same room as her and that he wanted to be as far away as possible to avoid being in constant pain of loving someone who couldn't openly feel the same way about him as he did for her. Every time he saw her, he would turn the other way and she didn't blame him at all. She'd caused him enough agony.

**She'd caused him enough pain for more than twenty lifetimes.**

Ian was her best friend, hands down. He was her safe place to land when things were going horribly in her life. He held her hand, allowed her to lie her head on his shoulder and just cry it out while he murmured comforting words to her. He didn't care what time of the day it was, he would drop everything for her, much to her arguing for him to stay put and worry about his own problems. Ian was like her own personal sun that she couldn't shy away from. He was warm, open and the sweetest man she'd ever met. He was her everything in more ways than none. She loved him. **She truly loved him.**

The realization struck Lucy as if she had been hit by lightning during a thunderstorm. She felt something for Ian. She felt something strong, something new, something that was _**alive**_. Her feelings for him were like a blossoming flower without enough rain to keep it fed. She realized that without him, she didn't know where or what she would be as a human being. She needed to see him. She needed to talk to him. She needed to be in his warm and welcoming presence again. She missed him. She missed his laugh, his smile, his curly brown hair. She missed the warmth in his dark blue eyes when he looked at her.

**She needed him in her life again before she went completely insane without him. **

At that moment, a buzz came from her iPhone. She ignored it. She didn't want to deal with anyone while she was trying to sort out her feelings and emotions for Ian. But obviously the person on the other end decided to go and ahead the bug the hell of out her. Soon her Lil Wayne ringtone sounded through her entire apartment. She groaned and sighed as she leaned over to snatch it up from the nightstand.

Her heart began hammer as she read the familiar name that made her feel like she was floating midair and this was the only man who could ever make her feel like gravity was impossible. She smiled softly as she picked up the call and pressed the device to her ear, "Hey, Ian."

His voice comforted her like a mother's comforting words to her crying child in her arms, "_Hey there Goose. It's been a while since we last talked."_

"It's been a very long while. Far, far too long. I've missed hearing your voice." She paused before asking, "So, what's up? What brings you to call me for the first time in over a month?"

Ian hesitated on the other end of the phone and at first, Lucy wondered if she'd been too forward and silently cursed herself as she finally heard him take a deep breath, "_I've missed you too, Luce. More than I can even put into words."_ He swallowed hard before continuing, "_I'm calling because I__ was wondering if you could come over to my place. We need to talk about…things. Things that have been left unsaid between us and words that were never spoken that should have been need to be said now since it's better late than never. So, if you're not too busy…..?"_

Lucy glanced up at the time on her phone and a wide smile crawled across her face. It wasn't even six on a Tuesday evening yet. Things were finally going to be fixed between them before the day was over. They would talk about what happened and was going to happen between them and then things were finally going to go back to normal. They were going to be friends again. They were going to be best friends again. They were going to be okay. And, God willing, they were going to be together. They were going to be always and forever one day and this was the first step that they had to take to make that happen.

Without even thinking, she replied with the five most important words that she would ever say in her life:

"I'll be over in ten."


	7. My Heart Can't Tell You No

**Hey everybody. I hope you're ready for Chapter 7 of Terrified. I know it's long overdue. Don't forget: This story is only supposed to be nine regular chapters long and then an epilogue. So, hopefully, I'm going to be wrapping it up soon. It's been an amazing journey and experience to take by writing a multi-chapter Lucian story. The support has been nothing but encouraging and has humbled me so much. Who knows what may lie in the future for my writing, but at least this story has been the success that I thought it never would be.**

**Reviews will be very much appreciated. Please constructive criticism and no burning! Don't like, don't read, as I always say. The fact that this story that popped into my head from a **_**failed **_**theory that I had two months ago has drawn in so many reviews and so much interest, it is truly amazing. Thanks all of you…..so, so much!**

**Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with Lucy or Ian. This is simply an innocent story about friendship, love, and honesty.**

* * *

**Terrified: Chapter 7**

**My Heart Can't Tell You No**

_I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
Believe that I can change  
I'll keep us together whatever it takes_

_**~"Whatever it Takes" by Lifehouse **_

* * *

When it came to Lucy, Ian sometimes didn't know what he was doing. He knew that it was better to let his feelings for her go and dissipate like the rest of the friendship that had been destroyed in the wake of what happened that weekend in June instead of pining after her and only causing himself misery. He knew that he rather had her in his life than not at all, even if she was in his life with someone else besides him. He would do anything for her; whether it was from being her best friend to being the one she spent the rest of her life with. He would be anything for her; whether it was just a friend, or if it was being her husband. He would do anything to protect her. He would love her every day of the week if she gave him the chance. He would be her _**everything**_ if that was what she wanted from him.

Ian invited Lucy so then they could talk everything out and maybe go back to the way they had been before what happened all those weeks ago in June. He would be willing to forget everything that had gone on between them just to be involved in her life or not. He wanted to be able to be in the same room as her and not want to leave. He wanted to be able to genuinely laugh at all of her jokes. He wanted to be able to be her best friend again. He loved Lucy, so he had to make sure that he proved it by giving her his friendship again. As much as he hated that not being in a romantic way, he would settle for it.

Just as she had promised, Lucy arrived at his apartment at exactly ten minutes after they'd hung up their phone call. She didn't even have to knock; Ian was already awaiting her arrival with the door already open and he stood in the doorway with a small grin upon his face. She looked up at him with those blinking and twinkling hazel eyes of hers, words slowly falling from her soft pink and glossy lips as she said with a smile, "Hey there, Shmian."

He didn't quite know how to embrace her with the circumstances that set the atmosphere heavily awkward between them, so he just gave her a blink of his blue eyes, murmuring softly, looking at her up and down, taking her in, "Hi, Goose." His heart began to hammer within the cavity of his chest as Ian led her inside. His palms were growing sweaty and he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rising in anticipation. This was the first time they had been alone since their weekend getaway. He was going to make the most of the time they now had together, "Can I get you anything to drink? A soda, a beer, water….?

"No, I'm fine for right now, thanks." Lucy plopped down onto his living room sofa and looked up at him, who stood nervously beside the couch, almost hesitant to sit down. She sighed, "This is pretty awkward, isn't it? I bet this is the last thing you wanted to happen after….you know…"

Ian exhaled a large amount a breath that he hadn't even realized he was holding as he sat silently beside her. He locked eyes with her and was captivated by the sorrow and regret in the hazel depths, twinkling back at him, glossy with unshed tears. He didn't want to see Lucy cry over what was going on between them. He reached over and placed his hand over hers. It wasn't anything more than a friendly and comforting gesture, but it still brought butterflies to the pit of his stomach, his skin forming goose bumps where hers met it. He was relieved when Lucy didn't pull her palm away, "It is a little awkward, but you're right. This is exactly why I didn't tell you how I felt right away. It was too much of a risk to ruin the friendship we had and I didn't want to give what we had out of sacrifice for my feelings for you."

He blinked and moved a little bit closer to her so then they weren't as separated, "I invited you over here tonight because that's what we need to talk about. _**Us. **_If there is an 'us' anymore, or if there ever really was. I want to you to hear what I have to say to you and I am going to do it without making you feel torn between me and….Chris. I would never want to do anything that would make you feel like you had to make a choice between the two of us. What you want to do is up to you, but I am just going to do what I can to make sure that I still have a chance to be in your life as more than a friend."

Lucy's gaze narrowed and nodded. Before he could speak anymore, she cut him off, "Sorry to interrupt, but what are we listening to right now; the song that just came on shuffle? Is that Katharine McPhee's voice I hear?"

Ian nodded and rolled his eyes with a smirk, "Typical Lucy. You always have to know the song that comes on while you're in the room." His eyes fell upon her face longingly, but he looked away before she noticed, his jaw tightening, "The song's name is 'Terrified'. Do you want me to change it? I could if you want me to…"

"Don't even think about changing it." She shook her head and a small smile came across her face as she turned to him, "I like the lyrics and the meaning of the song. It feels extremely strange to feel the connection between them and the way I am feeling right now. It feels like it relates to this…situation." Their gazes locked again for a moment before hers dropped to her hands, where one of Ian's still clasped them. He was comforted by her touch and her warm presence as he restarted the song, his other hand that wasn't brushing hers was shaking with the stereo remote in his grasp from the adrenaline and nervousness going through his body.

_You, by the light  
Is the greatest find  
In a world full of wrong  
You're the thing that's right_

_Finally made it through the lonely  
To the other side_

With a deep breath, Ian locked eyes with the love of his life and his best friend once again, his expression soft and gentle, "What I felt when I first met you was something that I had never felt before in my life and it surprised and scared me at first. I didn't know what would happen between the two of us and when we became friends, I felt like I had to bury the feelings I had to protect the friendship we had. It was when we started to spend more and more time together did I let the feelings back out."

He paused before he continued with a swallow deep in his throat, as if the words felt like a fresh taste of vomit and there was part of him that still wanted to keep them down, "I knew that I had to somehow find a way to tell you how I felt without scaring you away and ruining everything we had together. I just never found the right time until you invited me to go with you to Detroit last month. I figured we would be alone for the first time since you started seeing…_**him **_and I jumped the opportunity without even thinking about it. I knew that it was the right time to finally tell you and then go on from there.

He hesitated and moved even closer to her so then their faces were only inches apart, his breath falling on the skin of her fragile and beautiful face and added to his statements, finally feeling like he was making progress with her, "And when I look back, I don't regret any of it. I don't regret kissing you. I don't regret anything I said. I don't regret promising that I would wait for you for as long as it took. I don't know if you regret anything that went on between us those few days, but I just have to tell you that _**I**_ don't and if you do, I'm sorry. I never want you to have more regrets in your life than necessary, especially when they were with me."

Ian blinked his tender dark blue eyes at her, brushing a loose lock of her hair behind her ear, his thumb caressing her cheek as though he was caressing a baby animal, "The point of all of this was to explain to you that I am tired of pretending like I don't feel anything for you more than friendship. I love you, Lucy. I want all of you for the rest of forever. I want to be able to call you my girlfriend, my wife, the love of my life, the mother of my children. I want to be able to kiss and hug you without it being for our scenes together for the show. I want to be able to love you during the day and during the night. I want to be everything to you and for you. I would do anything for that to happen."

_And this could be good  
It's already better than that  
And nothing's worse  
Than knowing you're holding back _

_I could be all that you need  
If you let me try_

Lucy looked stunned at the words that had just come out of her best friend's mouth. She went to go wipe a few prickling tears from the corners of her hazel eyes, but Ian beat her to it, brushing them away with his thumb, his gaze loving and safe for her to divulge in. She swallowed hard and met his gaze, a wobbly smile at the corners of her lips, "Do you really mean all of that, Ian? Are you really willing to spend the rest of your life with me? Especially after all that I put you through on a daily basis."

"Forget what I want, Goose. Just forget what I want, what Chris wants, what your friends want. What do you want? Just tell me that much and I will support you with you no matter what it is." He wrapped his left arm around her shoulders, holding her closer to him, pressing his lips into her soft brunette hair. He felt her tense for a moment and he feared that she was going to pull away, but surprisingly, she moved closer to him, clinging to the material of his simple indigo t-shirt, "So, what do you want, Lucy? Tell me."

What Lucy said next didn't take him aback by any means and it only made him smile as the words fell from her tongue, "What if I don't know what I want? What if I am completely overwhelmed by the emotions I am feeling right now and can't wrap my mind around any of them? Ian, I've told you before that I do love you. And as for loving you more than a good friend, I _**think **_I do. I just have to figure all of these feelings of mine out before I make any rash decisions. Just keep in mind that I care about you. I care about you more than anything or anyone else on the planet. You've helped me through so much in the past few years and I could never repay you enough for being such a treasure in my life."

Ian looked down at her and gently tipped her chin up so then he could meet her eyes, "You can repay me by doing what you think is right for **you **and being happy with whatever decision you make. I am going to be here for you either way; as a friend or as someone more than that. Anything you want me to be to you, that's what I will be for you. I am willing to do that for you. There is never going to be another goodbye between us. I am going to be by your side from this moment on."

"I don't know what you want me to say to that."

He shook his head and leaned forward so then their faces were even closer together, if that had been even possible, "Shhhh. Don't say anything. I want to do something. Just stay how you are and don't move." Slowly, his lips pursed forward so then they barely brushed against Lucy's, causing a rush of fireworks to go through him and a tingling in his nerves that made him quiver. He never thought that a simple embrace such as that would make him feel as alive as a newborn child. It rushed through his body and energized his damaged heart, making it feel new and relieved that this was happening between him and Lucy at that moment.

He began to reluctantly pull away from her but what happened next shocked him.

_**Lucy was the one who held him there**_.

Her lips were rushed and harsh against his, yet still baby soft. Her fingers dug into his hair. Her body was crushed against his large one, no remaining space; only heat, passion, lust, and tension. He clung her waist with his long and trembling fingers tightly to his aching abdomen as he leaned back against the armrest of the couch while she climbed on top of him. Their lips separated as Lucy moved hers to his neck, causing Ian to groan and moan deep in his throat.

_I only said it 'cause I mean it  
I only mean 'cause it's true  
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming  
'Cause it fills me up _

_And holds me close whenever I'm without you_

Something overtook the both of them as Ian pushed them back up into a sitting position, Lucy sitting on his lap as he easily picked her up into his arms, her legs twined around his waist, and carried her into his apartment bedroom. He tackled her onto the bed and began to kiss her again, his lips sweet yet ruthless against hers. He felt her hands moving to the hem of his t-shirt and felt the tug of permission. His eyes shot open and they separated, breathless as they stared at each other with lust-filled gazes.

Ian swallowed as he struggled to inhale and exhale air, his chest moving frantically and his heart racing quickly in the cavity of his chest, "Lucy, what are we doing? Are we sure that even want to? I mean-"

She silenced him with a small kiss and when they pulled away from each other, she looked at him with wide hazel eyes, "I know what I want Ian. I want all of you forever. I want you right now. I _**need **_you right now. I need all of you. I want to, Ian. I'm sure. I have never been surer of anything else in my life. Please, Ian. _**Please**_." Her voice was filled with desperation as was her hazel gaze and he felt himself begin to melt into a puddle as she pleaded one last time, her face pressed into the crook of his neck, "_**Please**_."

He shakily responded, "If you're sure. I want to, too, Lucy. I mean, who wouldn't when you're the woman involved?" He smiled as he spotted the pink flush on her cheeks and he stroked them gently with his right hand, "I love you, Lucy."

Her eyes fell upon his again and a single tear fell from them as she murmured so very softly, almost inaudible, "I love you, too, Ian. More than I can ever say. You were right all along. _**This is what I want.**_ _**You are what I want.**_ I can't believe I was blind for so long. _**You are my forever, Ian.**_ I'm sorry that I never saw that before, but I'm going to make up for it. I swear that to you!"

_You set it again, my heart's in motion  
Every word feels like a shooting star  
I'm at the edge of my emotions  
Watching the shadows burning in the dark_

Ian's grin widened and he kissed her hard and long for about ten long seconds before he leaned his forehead against hers, "It's okay to be scared about what is going to happen, Goose. I'm scared too. But what is between us is far too hard to ignore, so we're not going to do that anymore, okay?"

There was no need for an answer as their lips met in a hungry and angry passion. Soon Lucy had Ian's shirt thrown across the bedroom and onto the loveseat shoved in the corner. He didn't hesitate on working her clothes next. Her blouse was following his t-shirt within thirty seconds and her shorts weren't far behind, leaving her in only her underwear and bra. While she struggled to unstrap the belt of his blue jeans, he kissed her neck and his mouth trailed down to her collarbone, nipping and going at the thin skin that lied there.

Finally his pants were kicked off and on the floor. Lucy tilted Ian's chin up to bring his lips back up to her own and he obliged, digging his fingers into the sheets of his unmade and messy bed as he settled into a place above her. He separated from her again before looking down and saying, his voice ragged from the lack of air, "Are you sure you want to do this? There's only one time for the first time between us, Lucy and if you want to wait and think about it, that's-"

She cut him off by raising her head up and pressing her mouth to his again. He knew that this was what they both wanted and he wasn't going to fight the passion and male overdrive at that moment if she wasn't to fight her own urges. They were going to do this and they were going to do it the way that it was meant to be: not having sex, not screwing each other. They were to use what they had to make everything passionate and loving with one another; every touch, every kiss, every movement was going to be what they would call 'their first time'. They were going to be together in every way possible, vunerable and open with nothing between them or anything on their minds besides each other.

_**They were going to make love**_.

_And I'm in love  
And I'm terrified  
For the first time and the last time  
In my only life_

* * *

Outside the apartment bedroom window, rain began to pour and thunder crashed in the clouds of the sky. Raindrops raced down the glass of the window as Lucy leaned against the windowsill, her forehead against to her forearm, clinging a white sheet to her naked body in an effort to cover herself as she watched the rain roll down the window as they were racing. Ian was sleeping in the bed behind her and she didn't want to disturb him. They were worn out from everything they had just done.

Lucy had never expected anything to happen like what just did in Ian's apartment. Her body was still on fire from his soft and gentle touch. He never made her do anything that she didn't want to do. His kisses, as always, had been so soft and gentle yet so powerful and demanding that she hadn't been able to resist him. His hands were twined with hers the entire time, never trailing anywhere but above her head on the pillows. Never in her life had she ever been so close and **compelled **by a man like she was by Ian.

She glanced over at him and smiled softly at the sight of him sleeping. His chest rose and fell in a regular breathing pattern, his well developed torso smoothly running like a snake underneath the blanket that was the only thing that covered him. His face was soft and childlike as he slept, innocent and vunerable with the occasional twitch of the lips or eyebrows. He was clearly enjoying any dream that he was having and some part of her hoped and wished that it was her that he was dreaming of.

Lucy turned her attention back to the window, watching night traffic on the streets below. Her thoughts went to Chris and some part of her _**wanted **_to feel guilty about what she and Ian had done earlier that evening, but she just couldn't bring herself to. She wasn't going to pretend anymore. She didn't feel for Chris what she felt for Ian. Chris was a good guy in his own way but Ian was just as radiant as the sun. He knew how to treat her like an equal, as a friend, as a lover, as a sister. He was there for her when no one else was. He looked out for her even when she didn't realize it.

Ian was the one who she could lean on and feel safe with. He was the one who could make her laugh when she felt like crying. He was the one who could make her feel like she was floating, as if gravity didn't apply to her when she was with him. He was the one who would love her unconditionally without second guessing his feelings for her, even when she stomped on his heart with cleats more times than none. He was the one who she wanted to be with for the rest of her life.

Ian had asked Lucy what she wanted from him and at the time that the question was asked, she didn't know, but now, after everything said and done between them, she knew what her heart had been trying to tell her for two and a half years since she'd met him.

_**Ian was the one who she wanted. **_

Two arms wrapped around her waist and she jumped when she felt a masculine body pressing against her body. She heard the familiar chuckle in Ian's voice as he whispered into her ear, "Hello, beautiful." He kissed her neck and then rest his chin on her shoulder, looking out of the window, his arms tightly around her, clinging her to him as his dark blue eyes twinkled in the street lights below, "Hmm, how tired are you? I am physically and mentally exhausted from all the _**activities **_we did earlier."

Lucy giggled and leaned against him, looking up into his eyes and kissed his scruffy cheek, lips lingering on the rough skin, the touch tingling the surface of her mouth, "I am pretty tired myself. I am going to need to get going to my apartment though or my roommates are going to start wondering where I am."

Disappointment crawled across Ian's facial expression as he nodded slowly in understanding and he shrugged, "Well, if you have to go. I was hoping that you could spend the night, but if your roommates are going to be worried about you, I don't them thinking that something bad happened to you." He paused before saying with a smile, "What if you text them and say that you're staying over? That we're rehearsing for our scenes tomorrow and you're just going to crash here on my sofa. Though we both know, " His lips met her neck, his grin against her skin, causing goose bumps to rise, "you're not leaving my bed, let alone this apartment."

She rolled his eyes as she pushed him back to the bed, climbing on top of him, kissing him longingly. It was a nice break from the rough and harsh kisses from earlier that evening. His lips were gentle and loving against hers as he clung her to him, his fingers caressing her face, keeping her in the kiss. She ran her hand up and down his torso, taking in all of his masculine features. She separated from him after a few moments, running her fingers across his lips, whispering, "I'll be right back."

After she texted her friends that she and Ian would be "rehearsing" for the night and that she would be just sleeping at his place for the night, she found him in the kitchen, making them breakfast for dinner. She watched him from the counter, not wanting to get in his way. He got territorial in the kitchen and when he was cooking, he was in a whole other mindset. She rested her chin on her hands and stared at him as she asked, "Did you enjoy yourself tonight, Ian?"

The question seemed to take him aback and he turned to face her, his eyes wide as he came closer to her, clasping her hands in his, giving them a kiss, his eyes never leaving her face, "Well, of course I did. Here I am worried if you enjoyed yourself and you're doing the same over here behind the protection of the counter where I can't touch you." He smirked at her and gave her a forehead a kiss before going to finish making the eggs, "I enjoyed myself more than I should have. How about yourself? Did I do anything wrong? Did I hurt you in any way?" His shoulders tensed at the idea of hurting her and he looked over his shoulder, "Please tell me because if I did, I'll-"

Lucy shook her head and went to go join him in the kitchen, wrapping her arms around him, arching her neck so then she could look at him clearly, "You did everything _**right.**_ I can't remember anything that made me feel uncomfortable. You sure do know how to show a girl a good time."

"Good to know." He murmured as he leaned down to kiss her and then gave her a hug, his arms cementing her to his body, his face buried into her neck, kissing her hair that barely brushed against her shoulders, "I love you, Lucy and after today, I don't know how I am ever going to be able to see you with Chris." He hesitated before asking, his words obviously causing him pain, "Are you going to stay with him? Just tell me now so them I can prepare myself for it. We can sneak around and make it work if that's how you want to do it."

"What are you talking about, Shmian?" Lucy pulled away from him and looked up at him with a smile, "I'm going to tell Chris the truth about what happened in June and I want you there at my side. I'm not going to punk out this time. I am sure of what I want and I want to be with you." She stretched up and murmured, her mouth only inches from his, "I love you, Ian. I want all of you for the rest of forever. I want to be able to call you my boyfriend, my husband, the love of my life, the father of my children. I want to be able to kiss and hug you without it being for our scenes together for the show. I want to be able to love you during the day and during the night. I want to be everything to you and for you. I want this to happen and as far as I'm concerned, it's going to."

The widest smile she had ever seen in her life spread across Ian's face at that instant and he kissed her cheek and hugged her again, whispering something that she recognized as William Shakespeare, "_**I love thee, I love but thee With a love that shall not die, Till the sun grows cold, And the stars grow old.**_" He paused and pulled away, tucking a loose lock of her hair behind her ear, "Lucy, I am going to be at your side no matter what happens when you tell Chris. I'll help you every step along the way. You have my word."

"I love you, Shmian. Even though I'm terrified right now." She admitted and hugged him once more, her mind and thoughts swirling. She didn't want to sacrifice things with Ian for a relationship she didn't even want to be in. She was going to have to tell Chris the truth. Just when and how that would happen, she didn't know. She was still trying to sort everything out and so far, the only thing that she had decided on was being with Ian. She loved him too much to let him go now.

**"_And I'm in love, and I'm terrified. For the first time and the last time in my only life._"** Ian sang softly in her ear as he kissed her hair, her forehead, her neck, her chin, her nose, her cheek and then finally when he came to her lips, he smiled against them, "We'll be both be terrified for what is to come, but I'm willing to be that. At least we'll be terrified together." She nodded in response and gathered herself as he kissed her. Lucy cuddled closer to him as they continued to kiss, Ian leaning her against the counter, his lips soft and smooth.

She kept repeating that statement in her head and it kept her same, _At least we'll be terrified together._

**_Together._ **


	8. Riding the Aftershock

**It's been far too long since I last updated this story. It's been a bit chaotic for me lately, but I promised a few close friends of mine that I would update as soon as I had the time. I know the update is long overdue, so I hope you enjoy Chapter 8. It's almost the end of this story and this will really be the climax of it. Keep some tissues nearby because it's coming to a head and it's time for Lucy to finally make her decision. It's been a wild journey but it's been worth to write it.**

**Reviews will be very much appreciated. Please constructive criticism and no burning! Don't like, don't read, as I always say. This story has 123 reviews as of the last update and it's amazing to know that so many people enjoy it, especially since it's from a theory (a failed theory) that popped into my head in June. It's very humbling and thank you so so so much! Also, tweet me some feedback on Twitter. Everything is taken professionally, not personally. Thanks in advance!**

**Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with Lucy or Ian. This is simply an innocent story about friendship, love, and honesty.**

* * *

**Terrified: Chapter 8**

**Riding the Aftershock**

_You called me up again_

_Just to break me like a promise_

_So casually cruel in the name of being honest_

_I'm a crumbled up piece of paper lying here_

_Because I remember it all too well_

_**"All Too Well" by Taylor Swift**_

* * *

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Every heart vibrates to that iron string." Every person has that one special someone or something that makes them feel as though they cannot breathe without. They need that thing or that person no matter happens in their lives. Their entire world and all of their happiness revolves around the life of that one true love in their grasp. They need them to have the hunger to eat. They need them to have the thirst to drink. They need them to have the motivation to wake up every morning. They need them to be able to breathe. Their existence was based on the existence of the only thing that keeps them alive. Without it, what would they be?

For Ian, Lucy was the iron string to his heart. There was no other way to put it. He was in love with the woman who he had once thought that he could never have. With her, he could do anything and everything that he set his mind to. She was his everything. His world revolved around her and everything that made her happy. He took a risk by telling her how he felt on the trip to Toronto back in June and though it had been rough for both of them to adjust to the changes in their friendship and relationship, they were now on their way to making it all worth it.

The twenty-five year old man awoke the following morning, blinking tiredly against the bright sunlight that was pouring through the thin material of the curtains hanging in the windowsill nearest to the bed. His eyes squinted against the unexpected light, wincing as it met the smoldering indigo orbs of his sensitive human eyes. When they opened all the way, an immediate smile crossed his face, all of his white teeth flashing between his lips as his gaze fell upon her beside him. _Her. _His best friend. His lover. The love of his life. His girl.

Lucy.

Ian settled on the mattress to where he could be looking at her face to face, just inches apart. Last night they had explored every part of each other in every physical, mental, and emotional way possible. His heart began to pound again as he remembered the feeling of lust that had taken over the both of them; the feeling of skin against skin, no barriers between them, their hungry lips kissing and biting every possible place along each other's faces, necks, arms, legs, torsos...They had become one the night before. They had become what Ian had never thought was possible. He had dreamt, prayed, and hoped that it would happen, but not even his hopes and wishes could match up to what was now exchanged between the two of them.

Now, as he watched her sleep, Ian realized that all of the heartache, all of the pain, _all of the patience _it took him to get to where they now lied in a tangled mess of a single white bed sheet and clammy skin, **had all been worth it. **He didn't ever even think that he would be lying in the same bed of Lucy after the first time they had sex. Hell, he had been so close to giving up on the idea of being together, that even the thought of making love to the 5'2 woman with the brunette hair who sang too loud and drank too much coffee, his body on top of hers, rocking and making the headboard creak with the activity on the mattress, her long, painted fingernails leaving long strands of red abrasions on the skin of his back as she took all of him in, her legs entwined around his waist as his lips trailed down her neck and to her torso where they remained for the longest time...

Chills went down his back as he remembered it all. He was still in a trance from it. He was so in love with this woman sleeping beside him that he couldn't even think about being anywhere else. That's where he belonged, With Lucy. Without her, his life wouldn't be as full and complete. He would be lost until he somehow found his way to her. That's what soulmates did, right?Soulmates always find their way to each other, in some way, shape or form. And that's what IAn thought of Lucy. She was his one and only. He couldn't imagine being with anyone else besides her. From the time they met in Vancouver to that very moment, he couldn't remember a moment when he had thought of anyone else in the room when they were together. He looked at her and the whole world disappear. She was his safe place. She was his gravity. _**She was his everything.**_

He gently took one of Lucy's hands that was closest to him in one of his own, trailing kisses on each of her fingers, his tongue lightly crawling across the lines of her palm. He watched as Lucy's lips began to pull up at the corners, but she remained in a subconscious state. Her auburn hair tumbled around her face, a few loose strands twitching at the breath that was coming from her scrunched up nose. She was more peaceful there than in ll those months that she had been with **him. **She looked happy where she lied beside him on the mattress of his apartment bedroom. The early morning sunlight was just reaching her place upon the single sheet that was only thing covering her tiny body. She wasn't moving or twitching or doing anything. _Nothing at all. **  
**_

_**And Ian could watch her do that all day.**  
_

Unfortunately, the universe had other plans. Lucy's phone buzzed to alert that she had a text message and she began to stir, stretching to reach it. Luckily, Ian was closer and he snatched it away from the nightstand before she could reach it. He leaned over to her and kissed her softly on her lips, his free hand coming up to run his thumb on her cheek, caressing her soft skin, tucking loose locks of hair behind her ear. She murmured against his mouth, "Ian...give...it..." It wasn't long before she was back to sleep.

He chuckled quietly and pressed a kiss against her forehead, his lips lingering as he whispered, "I'll get it for you don't worry...I love you." He kissed her forehead again before taking her phone, slipping on his boxers from the previous night, and leaving the room, pressing the touch screen to unlock the iPhone. Claire had texted Lucy, wondering if she would be home soon and that Chris needed to speak to her at ten o' clock the night before. The other texts were from Chris, including the most recent one.

**Chris, 10:42 PM, Tuesday August 14th: a_nnie and claire told me ur w/ ian. we need 2 tlk abt this. call or txt me pls._**

**Chris: 12:01 AM, Wednesday August 15th: _where the fck r u? is ian really tht mor important than me? damn you and damn him. srsly, we need to tlk. come home b4 i come looking 4 u._**

**Chris: 3:23 AM, Wednesday August 15th:_ bby im sorry. jus pls call or txt me and let me kno ur ok. i'm worried abt u and i need 2 make sur ur okay. _**

**Chris: 7:54 AM, Wednesday, August 15th: _r u awake yet? r u at ian's still? i hope rehearsing was okay. want me 2 come pick u up so we can get sum coffee?_**

There were also eleven missed calls. Ian rolled his eyes at the desperation that this older man had. _What did she ever even see in this asshole? He's trying to control each and every part of her life, _he thought as he began to type a response, looking over his shoulder, making sure that Lucy was still asleep. Through the crack of the door going into the bedroom, he could see her wrapped up in the sheet that still remained on his bed. She was out like a light from their night of love making and intense at that! He smiled, all of his teeth flashing as he watched her for a moment. She was so peaceful. She was so at home by lying her head on his pillow. Her pillow. _Their pillow._

He was going to take care of her. He was going to heal her and tear down every reservation that Lucy had about relationships because of her past romances; this included this last one with Chris. It was going to take Lucy _years _to get over what Chris put her through with the leering of making her rely solely on him because her friends wanted nothing to do with him because of his short-tempered personality. Their relationship was forced and one-sided and Ian knew Lucy didn't want to spend more day with a man who didn't respect her choices or her friends or _**her**_in general.

Ian was going to do whatever it took to make sure that he would help Lucy tear down any wall and barrier that she kept building around her lovesick heart. He was going to make sure that her scars would heal and that she could enjoy the lives that they were going to build together. She was broken, but Ian was going to do whatever it took to give her a shoulder to lean on as they were going to tackle every obstacle, every problem, every mishap that would cross their path in their future that they planned on making together, That was the promise that he was making to himself and to Lucy.

Even if she didn't know it.

Ian snapped his attention back to the phone in his palms, where his thumbs were itching to start typing, trembling with anticipation. He thought for a moment and slowly began to drum his fingers against the screen. He smiled as he responded:

**Lucy: 8:07 AM, Wednesday, August 15th: Hey, Chris! It's Ian. Lucy and I were up late rehearsing last night, so she crashed on the couch. I didn't want her to drive. She's fine, so there is no need to worry about her. She's always welcome here. She'll probably be back to the apartment by noon. She's a hard worker. I'll let her know that you texted and called. **

**Chris: 8:08, Wednesday, August 15th: tht's ok, i guess. thnks 4 takin care of her 4 me...nothin happened between u 2, right? she just crashed on the couch?**

_Slowly, his lips pursed forward so then they barely brushed against Lucy's, causing a rush of fireworks to go through him and a tingling in his nerves that made him quiver. He never thought that a simple embrace such as that would make him feel as alive as a newborn child. It rushed through his body and energized his damaged heart, making it feel new and relieved that this was happening between him and Lucy at that moment._

_He began to reluctantly pull away from her but what happened next shocked him._

_Her lips were rushed and harsh against his, yet still baby soft. Her fingers dug into his hair. Her body was crushed against his large one, no remaining space; only heat, passion, lust, and tension. He clung her waist with his long and trembling fingers tightly to his aching abdomen as he leaned back against the armrest of the couch while she climbed on top of him. Their lips separated as Lucy moved hers to his neck, causing Ian to groan and moan deep in his throat._

Ian blushed a deep scarlet red as his mind went back to the previous night. It was hard to lie and try to make Chris think that he thought of Lucy nothing more than a friend. She was his friend, his lover, and might as well been his wife. By an almost perfected practice he'd gotten used to typing and explaining, he responded in the appropriate amount of time:

**Lucy: 8:10 AM, Wednesday, August 15th: No, of course nothing happened! She slept in my bed and I took the place on the couch. She's my best friend, but nothing more.**

_Their lips met in a hungry and angry passion. Soon Lucy had Ian's shirt thrown across the bedroom and onto the loveseat shoved in the corner. He didn't hesitate on working her clothes next. Her blouse was following his t-shirt within thirty seconds and her shorts weren't far behind, leaving her in only her underwear and bra. While she struggled to unstrap the belt of his blue jeans, he kissed her neck and his mouth trailed down to her collarbone, nipping and going at the thin skin that lied there._

_Finally his pants were kicked off and on the floor. Lucy tilted Ian's chin up to bring his lips back up to her own and he obliged, digging his fingers into the sheets of his unmade and messy bed as he settled into a place above her. He separated from her again before looking down and saying, his voice ragged from the lack of air, "Are you sure you want to do this? There's only one time for the first time between us, Lucy and if you want to wait and think about it, that's-"_

**Chris: 8:13 AM, Wednesday, August 15th: o ok. do u want me 2 come and get her? i hate 2 put u out...**

**Lucy: 8:14 AM, Wednesday, August 15th: No, she drove her way over here, so I'm sure she'll want to drive herself home.**

**Chris: 8: 17 AM, Wednesday, August 15th: oh alright. i guess i'll see her wen she gets home. thnks ian.**

**Lucy: 8"17 AM, Wednesday, August 15th: You're very welcome. Nice talking to you.**

Ian turned the device off and placed it on the kitchen counter before heading into the bathroom to start his morning routine: shaving, a shower, breakfast, and then reading the online Huffington Post newspaper. He quickly went to the bathroom, washed his hands, and then got his razor and shaving cream out from the bathroom cupboard. He had just bought a new can and he glanced up at the mirror, knowing that he see the normal five o' clock shadow fallen upon his cheeks and jaw, trailing down below his chin.

He **severely **needed that shave.

He removed the blade cover, wet his face with water before applying the ice-cream shaped cream onto his face, rubbing it into the black speckled hair that lied upon it. He slowly glided the razor along the grain, leaving a trail of freshly shaven skin in its wake. He looked deeply into the mirror as he slowly removed the scruffy hair from the left side of his face. He didn't see the broken and heartache-filled man from a day before. He saw a new man. He saw a man whose eyes were as clear as the open waters of the Atlantic oceans, the indigo depths shining nothing but happiness. His jaw was relaxed and his face had flushed back to its normal color. He didn't look like the man who used to drink his sorrows away with straight vodka after work.

He looked like a man whose love was finally starting to realize her feelings for him, just as he hoped and prayed that she would.

_**He looked like the true Ian Michael Harding. **_

He heard the bedroom door crack open and footsteps on the wood floor. The footsteps were light and slow, as if the person had just woken up. From the reflection in the mirror that he caught, he saw Lucy go by the bathroom. He laughed and called out, "I'm in here, Luce!"

"I know. I saw you trying to shave your sexy five o' clock shadow." She giggled and then added, "You texted Chris? How in the hell did you get my phone?"

He shrugged as he continued to shave, "You were trying to sleep and it kept buzzing. I know how you get when you don't get enough sleep." He waited for her response, but since there wasn't one right away, he added, "Are you mad at me?"

Ian looked up from rinsing off his razor and saw Lucy standing at the doorway. She must have found his t-shirt from the previous day and a pair of panties to cover herself. Her hair was a tangled mess and she was hardly wearing any makeup, but this woman who stood before him was still more radiant than any supermodel that Tyra Banks tried to discover. She looked like an angel who had just fallen too hard from heaven and was still awfully tired, but other than that, nothing but a good sense of manpower could hold him back from trying to have sex with her again.

She shook her head in response to his question that he had forgotten he'd asked just a moment before, "No, no it's fine. He would have just come over and found me if you hadn't texted him. And I really don't want to explain all of this to him. We're going to, but just not right this second where I'm not even close to being awake yet."

He nodded slowly in understanding and set his razor down, wiping his face with a towel of the leftover shaving cream. He ran his hand across his freshly shaven cheek, "Smooth as a baby's bottom. Sorry, Luce, I hate it when it get's that bad."

Lucy rolled her eyes and shook her head again, blushing as she replied, "Ian, honey, you look handsome either way."

"Why, thank you. You and my mom think a lot alike." He turned to face her and threw her a flirty and slightly shy smile, "As long as we tell the guy. I hated lying to him." He paused and thought for a moment, his head slightly tilted, as he stepped closer to the woman standing in the doorway, "Actually, I don't feel _guilty at all." _They both laughed and Ian leaned forward to press a kiss to her lips, "Let's not talked about him. Let's just have our time right now."

"Mhmmm, I agree with you on that one."

Things got heated quickly. Soon Lucy was pressed against the wall of the hallway, her abdomen and pelvis pressed tightly against Ian's as he allowed no extra space between them. His hands ran up and down her legs, drawing one up slowly up around his waist. He rubbed and caressed it, his fingers tender against the soft skin of her thigh as they went higher and higher. Lucy moaned intensely as his lips trailed down to her neck, nipping and sucking the already visible hickies on her neck. He drew his tongue over the sensitive skin, smiling the entire time, happy to be with her at that moment.

She preoccupied herself by running her hands up and down Ian's toned chest, her fingers twining around the reappearing chest hairs. Her other hand played with the waist of his boxers, sliding the underwear further and further down his hips, Now it was Ian's turn to moan and groan, murmuring _I love you_ into the woman's neck as he continued to nip at it. She whispered, "This is going to fun."

Suddenly, Lucy was not longer against the wall. She had slipped out from underneath Ian's grasp. He turned around and looked at the can of shaving cream now in her hands. He narrowed his eyes at her, "You wouldn't..."

She smiled mischievously and blew on the sprayer as if she had a gun that she just fired in her hands, "Oh I would dare to spray this at you." She raised it to aim it at his chest, "Come on there, goober. Come and see if you can catch me."

The moment he took a step toward her, the gooey white liquid shot at his chest like silly string, causing him to move even faster to get the can away from her, "Come here, you little goose!" He hooked his arm around her waist and swung her around as if she weighed nothing, which to him, she hardly weighed the same as a feather. No matter how hard he tried though, he couldn't stop laughing along with her intense giggle fit, her whole body shaking.

Ian grabbed the other half-empty can from the bathroom counter and he squirted some on top of Lucy's head, rubbing it into the brunette locks, laughing like a maniac the entire time. Her screams filled the bathroom as well as her curses for getting her hair all messed up. He carried her past the shower curtain and set her down inside, squirting the shaving cream all over her. She squealed in protest and shot right back at him as she chased him outside of the bathroom and into the living room where she hopped on the couch and then launched herself at him, tackling him to the floor.

"Ooomf." He mumbled out in protest as he hit the carpet with Lucy on top of him. He dropped the can of shaving cream and put his hands up in surrender, "Okay, white flag! I surrender!" He was laughing too hard, breathless from running around and trying to get Lucy covered in shaving cream to even think about making a real conversation.

Lucy dropped her can as well and twined her fingers into his hair, "I surrender too." She thought for a moment.

He narrowed his eyes at her again, rubbing the small of her back, "What is it?"

She threw a smile in his direction and pressed her lips just inches away from his, "I love you. And I won't ever surrender what we have together. You are my safe place to land and the only man who has ever really accepted me for who I am. You know the real me and I can be myself around you. You're the one, Ian."

He smiled widely as he leaned up to press a kiss against her mouth, his tongue probing her lips open to allow him entrance. That was all he had ever wanted to her from Lucy, that he was the one for her just as she was the one for him. They were finally at a place where they could both admit it and be the real people that they were. The people who were in love with each other. Ian was sure that that this little shaving cream fight was the first of many playful activities that they would participate in together. They still had years and years to fill with each other but at that moment, he knew that it was one they were always going to look back on and laugh at with their kids and grandchildren.

**_They don't plan on ever surrendering._**

* * *

It was about noon, just as Ian had told Chris, when Lucy finally walked into her apartment. She was dressed in one of Ian's t-shirts and the pair of her skinny jeans that she had worn the day before that Ian had kindly washed for her before she had to leave. Her hair was rid of all of the shaving cream that Ian had rubbed deeply inside of it. She was still giggly about what had happened that morning. She never would guessed that they would get into a shaving cream fight.

It had been worth it. Everything had been worth it.

**_Every single part of their time together._**

No man had ever treated her like Ian did. He treated her like she was a princess and he was trying to court her. He acted as though he worshiped the ground she walked on. The way that he looked at her in those few hours had been some of the most intense gazes she had ever seen a person with. His blue smoldering eyes threatened to overwhelm her. They drown her like the depths of the Atlantic Ocean. Except he was also her safety buoy. He saved her when she got in too deep. Her warning sign. Her precaution before doing something reckless. He was her safe place for everything.

As she made her way into the apartment, she was listening to her iPhone on full blast. She was blaring Phillip Phillip's hit song, "Home". She had been turned on to his music since she heard his audition for American Idol in the past spring. He sounded a lot like Mumford and Sons, which was Ian's favorite band. He was in love with folk music and "Home" was becoming one of his own personal favorites. She caught him humming along the rhythm to it while he had been cooking them breakfast.

_Hold on, to me as we go_

_As we roll down this unfamiliar road_

_And although this wave is stringing us along_

_Just know you're not alone_

_Cause I'm going to make this place your home_

Lucy wasn't even paying attention to who was in the apartment. Out of nowhere, Chris came around the corner of the kitchen and called out her name. She still had her back toward him as she walked into her bedroom and was greeted by Jack's barking and jumps onto her legs she laughed and picked the dog up, dancing around the room with him, singing along to the music. She was in a state of bliss and happiness. Nothing could break what she was feeling. After what had happened the previous night, she felt complete and whole.

Like the entire time she had been just friends with Ian, she never knew that side of him. The side that would sweep a woman off her feet and onto a bed. He never made her do anything that she wasn't comfortable with. He let here have input on how things went. He made her feel part of a partnership, a part of a team, half of a relationship. He made her feel like they truly belonged together. And to her, they belonged together more than anyone else in the world.

They were destined by God to come to this point in their friendship. A rose grew out thorns. A flower grew in a group of weeds. Everything that had ever been against them as a couple. She was meant to find a lover in Ian. A lover, a boyfriend, a husband. She wasn't going to ever give that up.

**_Never._**

_Settle down, it'll all be clear_

_Don't pay no mind to the demons_

_They fill you with fear_

_The trouble it might drag you down_

_If you get lost, you can always be found_

Suddenly, her earphones were out of her ears and she winced in pain. Jack yelped and jumped out of her arms as Chris glared down at her, his eyes angry, "I've been saying your name since you walked in the door." He paused, "What in the hell was all that with dancing with the dog?" He jacked a finger in Jack's direction who was snarling at him from the bed, "Why in the hell doesn't he like me? He likes everyone, doesn't he?"

"Well, hi to you, too. Happy to see you." She rolled her eyes and plopped onto her bed, "Sorry, I slept in this morning and I am still sort of out of it. Sorry that I worried you. I was really tired and I didn't want to drive home."

"Ian explained it..." He trailed off as he noticed something on her neck and he brushed her hair aside, his eyes widening and his breath deepening in anger, "Ian explained it all. Except for the fact hat there are hickies all over your freaking neck that weren't there from me. What the actual hell, Lucy?" He stormed out of her bedroom and into the living room, cursing and throwing things, "What the hell? Have you been cheating on me with him the entire time that we've been together? Is that why you never seem to act right around me anymore?"

"Chris, there is a lot more to this than you know."

"Oh trust me I don't need to know what you two do." Chris's upper lip curled as he snarled at his girlfriend, his dirty blonde hair quivering with the rest of his body, "How about you just spare yourself the explanation and shove it up your ass because I don't want to hear it."

Tears sprung up in her eyes as she fought to regain control of the situation, "Chris, you don't know anything about what I have been feeling lately. You make me feel like shit all the time and you expect me to just act like the perfect girlfriend and like nothing is wrong. I can't do that anymore. I can't do _this! _It's not fair to me and it's not fair to anyone else around us. You made me happy the first two weeks and then you turned into this total asshole who can't respect the feelings that a woman has. Trust me, Chris! I heard bad rumors about you but I ignored them. I went along with your lies. Now, I regret every minute of our relationship, which is more one sided than anything else."

Chris's face was tomato red with rage and he was quiet for the longest time, just glaring at her. Finally, he made a move toward her, "Did you have sex with Ian? Tell me the truth. He's obviously the one feeding you these things."

Dread for Ian filled the pit of Lucy's stomach as she searched for a lie to say, "No-I mean we didn't-." She couldn't lie about it. Just the thought of the previous night and earlier that day was sending butterflies through her stomach, "Ian and I slept together. He makes me feel happy, Chris. He always has. He's never hurt me. He's never tried anything to make me feel unwelcome or unloved. He's the one who I have always been able to be honest with. He's my safe place." She watched as a smile crawled across Chris's face and she drew away from him, "What are you doing...?"

"You said you heard about my reputation. You know I have a tendency of being physical with the people who piss me off. I don't hold back. Ian is a skinny ass white boy who probably doesn't even have the balls to get into a fight. So, let's make a deal. You call that lying piece of shit and tell him you can't see him anymore."

Tears began to stream down Lucy's cheeks, "Why are you doing this? What did he ever do to you?"

"Before you went on that trip to Toronto, I told you how I felt about you being so close to him! You denied that he was in love with you and now look where we are! I am not letting him win." His eyes were dark with a rage that Lucy didn't even think was possible for one person to have, "So, you call him up right now and tell him that you can't see him anymore. Or else...I know where he lives. I know where he hangs out. He's gonna need blood when I get done with him."

Chris didn't say anything more as he grabbed his coat and backpack, opening the door and slamming it behind him, leaving Lucy reeling with what had just happened.

_I can't say goodbye to Ian. We just got to a place to where I admitted my feelings for him. I have already broken my word too many times. This time I plan on keeping it. I need to keep him safe though and Chris is dangerous when he's this angry. If he crosses paths with Ian and I don't make this call, Ian may die. I have to keep him safe from harm. what am I going to do? How am I supposed to save him and still stave what we have together?_

_I can't save both. I have to let him go to keep him safe._

Lucy began to type Ian's number and pressed the talk button, taking deep breaths. He answered on the first ring, "_**After you left, it got really boring with you here. No shaving cream fights, now activities going on in my bedroom..**._" He chuckled but stopped immediately when he realized that something was wrong, _"**Lucy? Lucy? why are you so quiet**?"_

She took a deep breath and heavily breathed out, "Ian, Chris figured it out. He figured it all out and if I don't break up with you, he's going to come over to your apartment and hurt you. I can't let you get hurt because of his anger_._" There was a long pause on the other end of the call so she continued, "I have to keep you safe from him. And I can't do that with us together."

**_"Lucy, I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself and take care of you too! Don't give up on us because of this big bad wolf. He may have a tough blow, but we have a brick wall. We can get through this. We're finally figuring all of this out and how are we supposed to do that if we're not together?"_**

Ian continued with a shaky breath as Lucy choked on her own sobs in her throat. She could hear the determination in his voice,"_**I'd**_**_ rather take broken ribs and brain damage than to say goodbye to you. I rather die a thousand deaths. I rather give up my job on the show. I would give anything to make you see that this is real and that no one can hurt what we have. We're strong. We're going to get past this. He'll cool down eventually. We'll figure it out, I promise."_**

_Just know you're not alone_

_Cause I'm going to make this place your home_


End file.
